Regardless of your spiritual practice, cultural tradition, or religious belief...
Here's to celebrating a day when a story is told about The Divine incarnating here on Earth, to symbolize the Divine in all of Us, uniting Us all as Family and inspiring Us to respect and cherish each other as such.
Merry Christmas! Blessings for a joyous New Year, that We might be refreshed in that Spirit.
This is it - Holidays 2017. We are in the thick of it. My plans have radically changed from what they were one week ago and I am TRYING to go with the flow and stay on the positive side of things. Am I ready for Christmas? No. Am I ready for Chanukah (seven days in already)? No. I just finally managed to get the house clean and that was only because I had help. Struggling, I Googled how to de-stress during the holidays:
Remember to be jolly.
What kind of crap is that? The ridiculousness continued...
Don't be frazzled.
Create a calm work environment.
Who writes this sh... um, stuff? HOW are you supposed to do that in the middle of a holiday meltdown??? Can we get some serious help somewhere?
Plan ahead.
IT'S A LITTLE TOO LATE FOR THAT, ISN'T IT?
LOL.
(OMG The baby's awake - again. I swear that kid doesn't sleep. Hang on.) Oh! That was another one!
Get more rest.
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?
OK. See what happened there? I was starting to laugh before I got interrupted. In our house - we laugh. We have to. It's what keeps us from killing each other. #youthinkimjoking
Ha! Seriously though, the stress is piling up on me and so I'm trying to remember a few things. Things like: don't drink in isolation, talk to someone (you'll feel better - you will - talk to someone supportive), understand that plans are going to change, get in the "now" moment (there's usually nothing to freak out about there), remember that this too shall pass (it's all going to be fine and nothing is the end of the world), help someone else in need (this is always a good idea), CHECK IN ON OTHERS (this is a lonely time for some - check in on elderly neighbors and anyone you can think of who might appreciate a friendly smile - it might go a long way), and when things go haywire, laugh it off!
If you need serious help, find it. Seek it out. The fluffy stuff isn't for everybody. Anything you don't agree with can be tossed out easily enough. :)
Hectic doesn't even begin to describe the journey, but the moments along the way are sights to behold.
We finally made it to the studio in Buffalo where I walked in and saw all the familiar sights. There was my regular writing chair, rows of music stands and dusty guitar cases. Amps and keyboards lined the walls. The new control room was really taking shape (under construction) and I was about to start writing sessions with my favorite team. I remember saying, "I love this place!" I piled my bags in my usual spot and got set up to start working.
There is nothing like catching snatches of the Bills game from the TV in the pizza place across the street from the studio in December in Buffalo. The guys behind the counter come out and yell, "NO!" in a moment of wishful thinking when it looks like the opposing team might miss the extra point. There's a sense of family with perfect strangers when you all stand there and marvel at the amount of snow on the field.
Then it was back to work making music with my beloved friends and writing partners.
I'm consumed with gratitude for every single moment - and have a real sense that this is truly the way life is meant to be lived - enjoying every moment.
A Blessed holiday season to you and yours...
Enjoy the moments.
On occasion I've thought of hanging a sign like this instead of blogging.
Here's the thing... it's the holidays! We are all crazy busy. This year, I am going to slow down a bit and enjoy the magic around me. There will be home decorating, traveling, shopping, playing with babies, songwriting, music recording, snow shoveling, family visiting, and ten thousand other things. Let's take lots of pictures AND remember to put down the camera sometimes and just be present in the moment.
Time is so precious. Enjoy all the wonderful moments this holiday season!
I may do this every year. This list is a work in progress. Time is short (isn't everyone's?) and we have a lot of stuff to do. I have my own thoughts and a very limited amount of time to research, so this is it for this year. There's no shortage of information online though. There are holiday survival guides for every aspect of life, so if there's something specific you're looking for (one dish meals, pet safety, beauty, house cleaning, etc.) you can do a search. As for this list, I've just taken some time out to remind myself about the things that might be helpful as I try to improve this holiday game a little bit each time around.
Started this blog in the store parking lot. Let the shopping begin!
1. Breathe.
Seems simple enough, but I slept in today. I had to. I didn't make it to the gym. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to. I'm not going to feel guilty about that. I needed sleep - end of story. I'm going to approach the season with that mindset. Everything will not get done. That's ok.
2. Get a game plan.
This is no time to wander about aimlessly. I need a list of things to do in order to make the most efficient use of time.
3. Be prepared to abandon the plan.
Life happens. Expect the unexpected and go with the flow. Precious moments can pass us by if we're not prepared to stop and take it all in. Zach said "baby" today. If I was too wrapped up in a plan of accomplishment and not paying attention, I might have missed it. It might not have happened at all if we hadn't taken the opportunity to FaceTime with Mimi (who taught him to say it).
Gotta take a break. He wants me to read him a book.
4. Remain guilt free.
I am going to miss some stuff. I can't be everywhere at all times. There's no room for second guessing and feeling bad about anything. Make a decision and stick with it - or don't - but either way DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. Nobody and nothing is perfect. Enjoy the ride.
5. Be kind.
This seems obvious but today in the store parking lot, a man stopped me as I was driving past. He indicated to me that he was about to pull away and I could take his spot. How nice was that!!! Kindness goes a long way. Let's be a part of the holiday joy and spread the love by being kind to each other. We're all in the same boat here. Let's smile.
6. It doesn't have to be expensive.
One of my favorite go-to stories about this is a childhood memory. An Aunt and Uncle had to "talk" to me. It sounded serious. They explained that money was tight that year and they couldn't afford to get me much. "This is all we could get you..." They proceeded to hand me a plastic cup filled with chocolates. I remember thinking, "WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER!" I never forgot that. People on your list appreciate you thinking of them. The gift doesn't have to be extravagant.
7. Wear a cross body bag.
This is no time to fool around. Everything has to be hands free. C'mon, get serious. Being preoccupied with looking cute will not do. (Wearing heels is OUT OF THE QUESTION. I just don't understand that at all.) That being said, put on a little lip gloss. I feel more confident and am more likely to make friendly connections with people when I feel at least a little bit put together. But can we NOT wear pajamas to the mall please? I mean, let's not get carried away. Strike a balance.
8. Drink water.
Hydration is a must - it ranks right up there with eating and getting enough sleep. This is a marathon. Start drinking enough water. As an added benefit, it may make you feel less hungry and less likely to pig out on unhealthy, desperate snack-age. Also, we'll need to drink plenty of water with any headache medication we may need to take - lol. Seriously though, it doesn't matter if we need to take extra time to find a restroom. Just do it. Drink the water.
9. Don't over-complicate anything.
I'm always trying to do something extra and add on other tasks. Do something, then check it off the list. Done. Keep it moving and steady as she goes.
10. Enjoy the ride.
I know I already said it, but it's an important one. Laugh at any and every chance. Spread the smiles. 'Tis the season - enjoy. If I feel the stress coming on and things get frantic... I'll try to let it go. Let's just be happy. Amen.
The grocery store check out clerk seemed tired and on auto-pilot. When Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer came on, I exclaimed, "Rudolph! Here we go!" as I loaded my items onto the conveyor belt. He smiled and continued smiling until I was rolling away and the lady behind me stepped up to the pin pad.
OK. That's all I got. The kid just fell asleep. That means I have to also. xo
Dave is gone. I had no idea. I last saw him at the beginning
of September. He was at the front desk of the gym, gently teasing me about my
workout as I was leaving for the day.
“Are you OK?” he laughed.
“No!” was my reply. “My legs feel like gummy worms!”
As director of training, he had set me up with my personal
training sessions the previous week. He had also set me up with trainers years ago
when I first joined that gym, but I had taken a break upon doctor’s orders
during pregnancy. We both laughed and said quick goodbyes as I walked out the
door. No one knew then that he had less than a week left to live. I didn’t know
until this past week.
I had gone out of town shortly after that exchange and missed his passing and all the announcements. I had noticed his absence at the gym lately, but thought he must be working evening hours, or maybe on vacation. I finally asked about him on Saturday.
"Where's Dave? I haven't seen him in a while."
The poor kid at the front desk hesitated awkwardly for a moment before telling me that he had died. It happened a couple of months ago. WHAT??? His obituary said it was an apparent heart attack. Anyone would tell you that Dave appeared to be in excellent physical condition. He was always giving new clients fitness assessments and was passionate about health and well-being as a lifestyle.
I stood there in disbelief for a few moments and stammered out a few questions before apologizing for the fog I was in, trying to process the information. I had just finished my workout and needed to stretch. Eventually, I drifted back to the personal training area and found a mat. With watery eyes I talked to Dave in my mind as I stretched. (How could I not have known? I was so sorry to have missed him...) I felt as if I could hear his voice speaking back to me as plain as day - as he always had. He was a source of lively charm at the gym. He would always smile and greet you enthusiastically, making you feel like family. Sometimes we would chat and philosophize. I had told him all about the baby and how physical therapy was going. He told me about the excellent results he was having with massage therapy for his shoulder and gave me the therapist's name and number. We spoke about the amazing mind/body connection and I noticed the book he was reading (An Interview with God, Woodrow Kroll). He inspired a lot of people there and they would all miss him.
I just couldn't believe he was gone. It felt as if he was standing right there, agreeing with me. He seemed his usual, smiling self in my mind's eye and he impressed upon me the significance of cherishing every moment. Of course he wouldn't want me to think of him and be sad. I envisioned him speaking very matter-of-factly, saying "This is how life is." It's just amazing how you can be here one moment - and be in Spirit the next. I kept talking to him periodically throughout the day. He's like "Angel Dave" to me now. It's going to take some getting used to.
I don't need condolences. I'm sure his family and those closest to him are feeling a sense of loss I can scarcely imagine. His absence has me contemplating how short our time here is though. It's made me want to talk to loved ones. He is inspiring me to have conversations and make visits that I've been putting off because I'm "too busy." Most of all... I want to pay more attention to those whose presence I take for granted. I want to live more fully and fearlessly. I'll prioritize the things that are important. I'll appreciate people around me. (There are so many beautiful people whom I adore... ) I will Love deeper. I will forgive quicker. I'll smile and laugh every chance I get. I will put my energy there - in that place of Joy and Love.
The whole family is sleeping. I don't have long... I am living in a Calgon commercial and just want to know when the relaxing bath part is going to come. I've been racing around trying to do everything and started this blog with the working title "No Idea."
These two...
The little one is teething. The big one is recovering from hernia surgery. Teething: we are getting through it. Surgery: Russ is doing well and on the mend.
Then there's THESE two...
Both want to go outside and act hungry despite the fact that they just ate and went out.
Also this week was a house window replacement. (Baby crying, dogs barking, table saws tripping electrical circuits, guy knocking at front door wanting me to come out and take a look, meatballs in the oven, sauce and chicken on the stove, out of baby ointment but don't realize it yet...)
The old window was in rough shape. It was broken and stuck in an open position. The previous occupants had caulked panes of glass up around it to keep cold air out - making it impossible to even access the window itself. There it sat, hidden by a curtain and effectively boarded up and forgotten about.
That was enough of that. Guys had to come with suction devices to remove the glass panes without breaking them and a bright, shiny new window came into place. You can see out! It opens, closes and functions to keep cold air out all on its own! It's brand new and sturdy and clean. I also had California Closets come and design some organizational space. I am reclaiming parts of the house - and my life - piece by piece. Maybe sometime soon I can actually wear two of the same color socks and remember to grab my wallet BEFORE I get into the checkout line at CVS! #momlife
I struggled to tie everything together and get this blog written until an illuminating conversation with a friend. (WHEN DID I HAVE TIME FOR AN ILLUMINATING CONVERSATION????) We spoke briefly about faith. When you've done all you can do, you have to just trust that all is as it should be.
Things get crazy. This is life - as it is meant to be. Enjoy the ride. It's kind of like the new window. We get all clouded up and stuck. We seal ourselves off from all the endless possibilities trying to do things our own way instead of just trusting that the Universe (or God, or Divine Order) has it all under control. After you've done all you can do, there's nothing left to do but trust.
Yet the world keeps turning. Time keeps ticking by. Stores are busy getting their Christmas aisles in order and people are busy shopping, watching football games and carrying on with the daily routine of life. Yet for some, there is immeasurable heartache and loss. For some, time stands still and numbness takes hold. For some, life will NEVER be the same.
We left church, stopped at the store, went home, fed Zach and got him ready for bed. The shooting was not mentioned in the service we attended. I'm not sure the priest was even aware of it. It wasn't until we were back at home that I was able to look it up.
I saw Marianne Williamson's (world renowned spiritual author and teacher) Instagram post: "Dear God, please help us. Amen" It includes a picture of the shooter (also from her hometown of Houston, TX) with text saying that he is not a Muslim or with Isis and that THIS (he) is what a terrorist looks like. MARIANNE WILLIAMSON - a woman who guides millions of people through concepts in A Course in Miracles - is pointing out what terrorists look like and praying for help for us all on her IG account.
With tears swelling up, I thought about how to fight "hatred." I know it's with Love. I know it's with kindness and compassion. I know the "battle" that occurs within ourselves and manifests in the world between fear and Love. I know people will argue and politicians will fan flames, stirring passionate thoughts in millions of people, dividing some and uniting others in common cause. I know many will search for answers and sometimes answers will not be found. Some will believe fiercely and cling to their faith. Others might give up on it.
I checked in online to see what friends were talking about and found something positively delightful in the midst of all this horror. I smiled. Then I laughed. It was pure, genuine. Then I looked up the lyrics. THIS is how you fight hatred - with joy of heart. This sweet little girl is bringing the Light!
Dear God, Help us all. Let us be guided by Love. Grant us wisdom and understanding in our thoughts, kindness in our deeds, and childlike wonder and joy in our hearts. Be with those in pain. When we hurt, hold us tenderly and touch our souls with the Warmth of Your Love and Divine Comfort. Heal us. Open our hearts and minds to learn, that you may teach us softly. Amen.
Thoughts and continued prayers for families affected by this unfathomable tragedy.
Namaste,
T
"Then he said: I promise you this.
If you don't change and become like this child,
you will never get into the kingdom of heaven."
- Matthew 18:3
"My friends, stop thinking like children. Think like mature people and be as innocent as tiny babies." - 1 Corinthians 14:20
Zach Williams, Old Church Choir, with lyrics:
Zach Williams, Old Church Choir, Official Music Video:
This lovely girl (I'm going with "girl") appeared outside the diner this week.
This one (above) was at the pediatrician's office. Hundreds more appeared in a National Geographic photo sent to my phone this morning (I'd post the link, but it seems to have disappeared). Maybe there's more to the story that I'm supposed to think about.
I've been taking some time out for myself every evening before bed to read. Just a few minutes is all I need - just enough so that I am taking some action toward my own personal objective of reading a book. Last week I actually finished the book. I can't tell you how many books I have started reading over the years and never finished. My bookshelves are full of them! This time, I finally finished. Then I started another. #gettingsomethingaccomplished :)
"God is within her. She will not fail"
- Psalm 46:5
This quote begins the book I'm reading now. The quote echoes points made at the end of the previous book about how important it is to take action, however small, toward your goals (or dreams). Reflecting about the butterflies, I'm thinking of the action of their flight. They must move, fly, spread their wings. That's what's up this week - action.
Ever notice how we put things off? Busy work crowds out things we want to do for ourselves and we never get around to doing some things that we really want to. My time is short these days with the baby. (Isn't everyone's time short for one reason or another?) To-do lists are always getting shuffled, and tasks get prioritized, often resulting in nonaccomplishment of some very important goals for myself. Adding to the obstacles, we can admit that fear of failure is a contributor to our tendency to put some goals on the back burner as well.
To transform as a butterfly, action is required. Transformation can be thought about, and we can evolve in our thinking all day long, but we must act if we want to continue the cycle. We have to spread wings to fly. I've been doing well with workouts lately. I've managed to get to the gym consistently and reached a goal of lowering my blood sugar through exercise and diet. Also, I completed a book by tackling one page at a time. Now, I think it's time to identify some more goals on the wish list and take some action toward achieving them. Any action toward the goal will be a success.
"There is no failure except in no longer trying."
- Chris Bradford
"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."
- Paul Coelho
That is my continued lesson from my friends, the butterflies. :) xo
They've been all around me lately! When I was letting the dogs in, one flew right in front of my face. Russ said, "Whoa! Did you see that butterfly?"
Yes. I've been seeing them everywhere. It was a few days later that a little girl I know drew me a picture. "That's nice," I said, "What is it? A heart?"
"It's a butterfly," she informed me.
Saturday morning I noticed some pretty flowers in front of a local diner. While in the middle of a little flower photo shoot, we got photobombed...
Soon another one came along and didn't mind posing for a few shots...
The next day, a butterfly flew in front of me while I was talking to someone and literally interrupted our conversation. Later that day, out of nowhere, another friend texted me a picture of a butterfly.
"The butterfly is one of the most emblematic totem animals symbolizing personal transformation."
- spiritanimal.info
I have been thinking not only of personal transformation, but of transformation in a broader sense a lot lately. It seemed as if everyone was talking about sexual harassment last week. It was all over the headlines, the radio, the television and social media. I was surprised that anyone would be "shocked" that a powerful entertainment industry executive would be accused of (or could be guilty of) sexual harassment. (Really? Shocked?)
Then there were the comments from Donna Karan implying women were "asking for it" by presenting sensuality and sexuality in their appearance. (Again... REALLY??? Victim blaming? In 2017? From someone who designs those "presentations"?) After fierce criticism, she said she regretted making those comments and that she was in fact "shocked" by them herself.
The talk radio show discussing the general issue of sexual harassment had me listening so intently I missed my opportunity for a cardio workout, while opting instead to stay and listen in the parking lot of the gym. Some "brave" women came forward to talk about their battles. Others expressed their lack of "bravery" in similar situations. Many of us have experienced both sides of that fence.
I like the idea that the whole collective is transforming - standing up for ourselves in new ways, bringing to light things that were in the shadows. Does it mean that sexual harassment will stop? Certainly not. Our collective evolutions might ebb and flow like the Universe Itself. Is the fact that we are having this conversation helping someone? Without a doubt, yes. A flood of support has come via #metoo, with people posting the hashtag to indicate that they have also endured sexual harassment or sexual assault.
I think of all the ways culture and societal norms affect us all. What we wear and how we act are often weighed with considerations of how we will be perceived - for both men and women, for all kinds of reasons, and in all kinds of situations. What about a day when we can all feel free to express ourselves, sexuality and all, without fear of physical vulnerability, negative consequence, or judgment? What about a day when we can look into each others' eyes, see ourselves, and offer ourselves enough compassion, kindness, and respect? What if power came from within and was not attempted to be gained by dominating or judging another? What if profits made by uniting people and seeking their best interest far outweighed those made from selling fear and division? What if we as a human race were inching toward finally getting our act together? What if all things were actually happening for the education and good of all???
I'm down with the caterpillars. Let's transform.
#letsevolve #butterflyme #butterflywe #metoo
Namaste,
T
"Your natural beauty wants to be. Set your sexy free."
- Tanya Diona, Get Your Sexy On
"But it is not enough to merely exist," said [the butterfly],
"I need freedom, sunshine, and a little flower..."
- Hans Christian Anderson
"Butterflies... flowers that fly and all but sing."
Saturday was my first gig since having the baby. It felt like I was re-entering the world. #Goodtimes - and we PLAYED that song too, lol.
WHY DIDN'T I TAKE ANY PICS ON THE GIG?
Truth: I didn't think of it. I had charged up my camera the night before and forgot it at home. Upon realizing this, I thought I'd just use my phone, but then I was too busy worrying about lyrics, my shoes, my sore throat (which came out of nowhere just before the show), mic volume, trying to find the room where they served the band dinner and trying NOT to be worried about anything!
This was taken AFTER I finally got home. AFTER my hair got all frizzed out in the damp air and AFTER the bandleader texted to say I had left my iPad behind and I turned the car around and ran back inside only to find that he had already just left with it. AFTER I ran to catch up with him in the parking lot and was relieved to find him getting into his car.
"I'm a basket case!" I said, shaking my head as I approached.
"No," he said with a smile. "You're a mom."
Anyway... The show itself was fantastic and a lot of fun! It was GREAT to be back! It's such a pleasure to work with outstanding musicians who are also so very nice and have such high spirit! I loved being there with them and being a part of the music that connected all those happy smiling faces on a packed dance floor. There really was nothing to be worried about. :)
Had a blast! Hanging onto that energy this week - with a smile.
xo
We wrapped up in the studio and headed back to the NYC area - with the baby, both dogs, a trailer and a U-Haul truck. There was a lot of clearing out and making room for the new going on. I emptied out old bookshelves and put them in the new office space. The new office had been an old storage room that was cleaned up. I went through piles of mail and bins of clothes. Old composition books were replaced with brand new blank pages and clean shelves are awaiting items for new projects. It feels good.
I've been visualizing letting go of old thoughts and ideas to help new, fresh ones unfold AND we wrote three new songs! (Well... one was already started, so it's more like two and a half.) I'm calling it "three." :)
As a reward and an effort to heal my aching body, I went for a massage. (Endless smile, deep breath, exhale) The therapist said, "I think a stretch will help you" and I thought of my muscles releasing toxins and making room for new oxygen and growth. (I'd been to the gym just prior.)
Seems like mind, body and spirit are all in balance and life is good for now. Yep. I'm going with that.
Alex, it's great to be here! I'll take "Recording Studio" for 200 please.
What are things on the vocal booth window ledge?
(Voice of host) "That is correct!"
I saw this random collection of items as I took my place behind the microphone this week and thought, "I LOVE THIS PLACE!" Looking further beyond the glass, I saw speakers, cables, keyboards, a big industrial shelf filled with drums, and a few musicians taking a break in between sound check and their evening show. Where else in the world would I see this combination of items and people? It meant I was in my favorite place, with my favorite people, doing what I love. It was the best!
