Hot Flashes... Can You Blame the Dog?

Yes.  Here's how...

Bentley

Step 1: Leave a roll of packing tape on the floor, well within reach of your dog who sometimes has separation anxiety.
Step 2: Go to church.
Step 3: Come home to find that dog has eaten much of the roll of tape.
Step 4: Travel by car for eight hours with said dog in the back seat.
Step 5: When dog throws up in back seat, stop at an exit ramp to let him out and clean up the car.
Step 6: Arrive at destination several hours later to discover that you've been bitten up by mosquitos while walking around on a strange exit ramp with dog. Apply Hydrocortisone cream and deal with it.
Step 7: When symptoms don't go away four days later, go to a clinic where you discover that you do not have mosquito bites, but poison ivy (from the dog tramping through it on that exit ramp and transferring it to you).
Step 8: Go to the pharmacy and fill the prescription they gave you for Prednisone.
Step 9: Accept the fact that a potential side effect of the steroid medication is hot flashes.

Did this actually happen?  Yes, except I didn't want to start the oral medication until I arrived back home from the gig in West Virginia, where the clinic diagnosed me.  So, I have the hot flashes to look forward to this week.  :)

The week prior had been a long one - with rehearsals, meetings and a flat tire incident that had me wandering through Jersey looking for a gas station with a working air pump.  Then there was VERY EARLY morning travel and a serious lack of sleep.  By the time I arrived at the airport, got on and off two planes, ran (about five miles) from one end of the airport to the other to make the connecting flight, and rode two hours in the van to the hotel (where the room wasn't ready yet, so we went to eat lunch before finally checking in), the last thing I wanted to deal with was bright red itchy spots on my arms when I took off my sweatshirt to take a much needed nap.

Classic band shot - en route to hotel

As I looked down at my arms and said, "This doesn't look right," I could hear the voice of my friend Paul Anthony echoing (from his TV episode of "Unsung") in my head.  He said, "You MUST be proactive.  You don't wait."  I considered waiting until Monday when I would be back in NY and could see my own doctor.  "You MUST be proactive.  You don't wait."  OK FINE!  I looked up health care facilities and spoke to a lovely hospital nurse who guided me to a clinic that was less than a mile from the hotel, and walked there.  Poison ivy.  I'm glad I listened.  Thanks Paul Anthony.

I laughed out loud at the pharmacy counter wondering if life could get more ridiculous.  I should've known not to ask that question.  As soon as I did, the pharmacist told me my prescription coverage had expired.  I laughed harder, waited while they looked up my coverage another way, and eventually bought the medicine.  I walked back through the rain to the hotel, applied the topical cream they gave me, wondered if makeup would conceal the red marks on my arms, thanked God that I'd thrown a long-sleeved dress in my suitcase as an option for the gig, and tried not to scratch.

The gig was great and the band was awesome!  I was one of five singers on the bandstand and they are all amazing performers!  I wore my long-sleeved dress and put a little makeup on my splotchy arms.

with the super-talented singers:  Brian, Chevonne, John and Charles

I recalled the chain of events and realized the humor in the fact that because Bentley had eaten a roll of packing tape, I had poison ivy and was facing hot flashes.  When I rewind the tape of my memory further though, I remember that I was the one who had left that roll of tape on the floor.  There was that brief moment when I saw it there and thought of picking it up, but I had been in a rush to get out the door and left it there instead.  If I had made a different choice in THAT moment, poison ivy may never have entered my life.

It looked like Heaven outside my airplane window on the way home

On the way home, when people asked how I was doing with regard to the poison ivy, I responded that it was a real exercise in mental discipline not to scratch like crazy.  (It really is too!)  It reminds me of the "blame game."  Oftentimes it's easy to place blame.  We do it all the time.  Sometimes it's hilarious!  Sometimes it's not.  While it might be funny to blame hot flashes on the dog, sometimes it's a real "exercise in mental discipline" to take responsibility for our own actions, consequences, happiness or unhappiness.

I'll remember that this week.  I may play the blame game from time to time (we're all human) and sometimes it's all just too funny, but I'll take responsibility for my own happiness and create my own destiny accordingly.

Today's calendar page from Louise Hay

Let's make it a GREAT week!

Namaste
T

Here We Go... #Fall

After finishing up some planting and handling the business of the week (OMG you are going to LOVE the videos we are working on), I drove off to attend a friend's wedding.  Russell, Joey and I wrote the song (not released yet) that would be played for their first dance and I had the final mix in hand.

Since I was there a day early, I volunteered to help set things up the day before the reception.

WHAT AN ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND WONDERFUL TIME!

The room started off as a perfectly blank slate in the town's fire hall, but slowly and steadily it began to fill.  The transformation was fascinating.

First, boxes and bins were carried in from cars and trucks.  The empty kitchen was soon brimming with dishes, candy, flowers, ribbons, tablecloths, candles, bottles of water and cans of pop (that's "soda" for all you other people - lol).  Decorations, champagne glasses and everything you could think of all started to spill out into the hall where tables were being unfolded, carried and arranged to fill the space to capacity in neat orderly rows.

The decor followed a Fall theme and after the cream colored tablecloths were laid, and the head table's gold leaf patterned overlays were lovingly placed, after skirts hugged the gift, coffee, cake and head tables, some hundred plus chairs were carefully counted and put into place.  Then the flowers, vases, dishes, and candy migrated from boxes and bags in the kitchen to become the pretty and warm-colored center pieces and table settings.

A handful of the most lovely people worked like elves in Santa's workshop as candles came out of boxes and were placed at each seat as a "thank you" gift to each guest.  Hundreds of cloth leaves came out of plastic bags and the team began to line the walls with them.  Decorative bales of hay were placed at the entrance and lovingly arranged with fall colored flowers.  Floral arrangements, baskets of candy, plates of cookies, and a beautiful satin card box filled the entrance table, and hanging fall decoratives draped from the doorway.  There were wreaths and rows of lighted leaves and fall colors everywhere.  It was a totally different-looking room.  

Then the DJ arrived and unloaded his corner-full of speakers, stands and CDs.  As he tested equipment, music filled the air and we all danced as we taped extension cords to the floor and more leaves to the walls.  You could really get a sense of how the room would feel when family and friends would arrive the next day and fill it even more with laughter and love.

Amazing.  Simply amazing.

with DJ Bear - the first person to play "Our Song of Love"

The ceremony was so heart-warming!  The bride was beautiful.  The groom was handsome and just the right amount of nervous.  The music was gorgeous and the bride's two college-aged children were the best man and maid of honor.  Two sets of young twins served as flower girls and ring bearers.  "Ave Maria" (sung by the bride's daughter) sounded as if it were sung by an Angel.  We all smiled and remembered how perfectly wonderful it is to be in love as we looked on and witnessed the two becoming one in love and family.  They lit their unity candle, were proclaimed husband and wife and kissed.  We clapped, took pictures and wiped away tears of joy.  I smile and warm up just thinking about it.

We all journeyed back to the hall where music, voices and the aroma of coffee were softly beginning to fill the room.  That morning, even more leaves had been placed on the walls, and balloons and additional flowers had arrived.  The kitchen had been bustling with people preparing vegetables and dinner rolls and the smell of delicious chicken had wafted in from the grills outside.  Magic was beginning to flow through the air.  As I looked around the room admiring the warmth of what had been just a blank canvas only the day before, my eyes fell on a cloth leaf and I thought of Fall - and falling in love.  How perfect.

I had been thinking about change and Fall all week.  You can't help but notice the change in the weather and the colors this time of year (especially when you're out raking leaves and trying to hurry up and plant things before the frost comes) - and what about "falling" in love?  Do we really "fall" or do we choose?  What if it's both?  What if the Truth is that we CHOOSE to fall?  What if an idea is born, then we choose to trust and believe in it, and allow ourselves to fall right into it?

I like that thought - and isn't that what we do all the time?  Don't we get an idea, then plant it?  Don't we have to nurture it, water it and trust it to grow?  Isn't it beautiful when two people believe in each other and blossom together?

Fall.  This is the time of year when we're reminded that things are changing and growing all around us all of the time.  We must change too.  Why not fall?  Why not choose an idea then trust it and fall all the way in?  Isn't that how we create our destiny anyway?  

A friend reminded me today, that we create our future whether we are consciously aware of it or not.  So why not fall on purpose and renew ourselves - just like the trees and flowers and everything in nature this time of year?  Isn't that how we carve out our hopes and our dreams and make ourselves and our lives better?  Won't this lovely new family be better and happier and stronger for doing it?  Didn't they inspire us all with their commitment to and belief in each other and by "falling" in love?

Eventually all the the toasts were made, the cake was cut, the dances were danced, and joy was had by all.  Guests began to filter out, and plates were cleared, food and flowers were carried out and tables and chairs were packed away.  Decorations were taken down and the floors were swept and mopped.  Cartons and boxes were loaded in cars and delivered back to houses.  The room became a blank slate again.

It may have looked the same, but it wasn't.  Love had been there - and it had made an imprint.  A new family was born.  Everyone who was there and inspired and joyous will now go out into the world and remember it - and be better for having experienced it.  Pictures will be shared and stories will be told about it for years to come.  Nothing ever stays the same.  Everything good gets better.

God Bless the newlyweds and their family.  God Bless everyone there - and all of us in this Earth family.  

As we all travel into the Fall season, let's try to make the changes good ones.  Let's choose to trust in the good ideas and feelings worthy of our belief in them.  Let's trust and then fall.

Here's to Fall... Here's to falling...

Namaste!

T

Walk the Weed Walk

The first thing last Monday morning, I became aware that the weeds around the house were out of control.  I felt bad because I had been meaning to "pretty up" the place for awhile, but hadn't gotten around to actually doing it.  (Alright fine.  I'll take care of it.)

Before

After

A few days and fourteen leaf bags later, I had made a significant dent.  I had made several trips to pick up borrowed garden tools, two trips to Home Depot, and been to the nursery and to the town dump.

Russ after we unloaded bags at the town heap

I became a weed pulling machine.  I spent a few hours each day getting rid of weeds, pruning overgrown bushes and ivy and tilling up soil.  I was determined to remove all of the old, unnecessary and unsightly things that were choking out the new and healthy growth.  (Hmm... How could THIS be a metaphor for life???)

I started looking around the house for other possible weeds.  I weeded out my songlist, my closet, my computer desktop, my actual desktop, my purse, my car and the refrigerator.  It was endless.

The gig on Saturday was GREAT!  I met wonderful singers and musicians who were all very nice and sounded fantastic.  The food was delicious and the staff at the gala event was friendly.  I had my updated song list and my newly cleaned out gig bag and was feeling good.  I was pretty sure I knew what this blog would be about.

John, Primadonna, Me, Tony

THEN came church on Sunday.  The minister started talking about "earthing" and harvest and composting.  (C'mon!!!  Really?  I was totally going to blog about this type of thing already!)

Then she said, "You don't want to focus on the weeds."  (HUH?  WHAT?  I was going to blog about the weeds!)  She went on to explain that it's a metaphysical law that what we focus on expands, so we need to focus on the Blessings, the harvest - not the weeds.  We need to clear what exists inside of ourselves that resists prosperity.

OKAY...

I went back home and did some more weed pulling and clipping, but found it somewhat unsatisfying. When it was almost time to wrap it up for the day, I knew what had to be done.  I had to plant.  (This must be what she was talking about.)  Pulling the weeds was not enough.  I had to plant that half flat of Vinca Minor that I bought at the nursery just like I have to plant new ideas.  I couldn't just THINK about doing it.  I had to actually dig a hole, mix in some fertilized soil, place them in the ground, cover their roots and water them.  I have to get the new idea, make room for it, then take the action of planting it and nurturing it.  Action is required.  I have to walk the walk.

This week I will not get distracted by the weeds.  I'll pull them away to make room for the new.  Then I'll focus on the new, on the nurturing, the building, the action.

Have a great week cultivating your new ideas!  Enjoy the harvest.

Namaste,
T

Keep Going Angel Face

Happy Monday everybody!

I started off last week in the studio in Buffalo.  It's always such a joy to work on new music with my dream team!

with Joey and Russ

Tuesday, I saw an Angel in the sky.  :)  There were guys working on the house when a friend texted to ask how I was doing.  I took this picture of the ladder and responded that I was "Movin' on up."  Do you see the Angel face in the clouds - just to the left of the ladder?

raw photo - no retouches

When Russ left for Milan, I thought I might have a minute to relax, but no.  I received a confirmation for a pending Saturday show and the rush was on to get hair done, update website, learn songs and get back to the NYC area.

At the gig in the Hamptons, I was pleasantly surprised to see old friends!

with Wes (drums)

And I always love working with this amazing group of singers!  :)

with John, Chevonne, Brian

By the time I got home, I was too tired to get out of the car.  (Hey singers - does this happen to any of you too?)

So on Sunday, I didn't want to do ANYTHING.  A day of rest... Aaahh... (If only this were one of the commandments or something.)  ;)  

Seriously though, it is SOOOOOO good for us to just sit and breathe.  We all really need to do this more often.  I had the Blessed opportunity to rest and reflect and let the thoughts flow freely on Sunday.

As I thought about what I might write here today and looked for a common thread that ran throughout the week, I recalled many conversations, comments and Facebook posts about love, relationships, personal boundaries and standing up for one's self.  All week long these topics kept coming up.  They were in the love song we worked on in the beginning of the week, in the songs I learned for the gig, in the casual conversations, in the funny stories I heard from friends and in the serious stories on the news.  

I remembered someone's story about how a friend of theirs had been afraid to stand up for themselves in a work situation, and someone else's story about how they HAD spoken up for themselves and how things had changed for the better after that.  I recalled a time when I had spoken up for myself.  I recalled a time that I didn't, but wished I had.  I remembered that oftentimes it seems easiest to ignore an issue and pretend that it's not that bad or offensive.  Sometimes it's hard to face the possibility of letting go and easier to let wishful thinking blind us to the truth.  I thought of someone last week who said, "It is what it ain't!" - rather than "It is what it is."

I saw these posts on Facebook:

"Sometimes on your way up

you have to stop and

let some people off"

- from Enchanted Minds

"You will never get what you truly deserve

if you remain attached

to what you're supposed to let go of"

- from Enchanted Minds

Then I saw this post:

click here for: "The Difference Between Healthy Love & Unhealthy Love" - by Joe Martino

I thought of all the positive affirmations and quotes that I see so often on social media.  While we are encouraged to be positive and love each other, sometimes we forget to love ourselves first.  Setting boundaries doesn't have to mean conflict.  We don't need to get someone else to act in any particular way - but we DO need to be honest with ourselves about the decisions WE make about how we will or will not allow ourselves to be treated, or who we choose to be around.  Loving someone does not mean allowing ourselves to compromise what we believe is right for ourselves.  We can set our own limits and respect the choices of others while we take responsibility for our own.  

Then Steve Harvey came on TV with Oprah, giving advice and talking about his book "Act Like a Success, Think Like a Success."  (I bought it as an eBook.)  He talked about how he doesn't have time for people's negativity and how "You cannot pull everyone along in your wagon of success.  You have to know when it's time to cut certain people loose."

click here for: Steve Harvey on "Oprah's Lifeclass"

I remembered the Angel's face in the clouds and thought of "movin' on up" and wrote these words:

"I take responsibility for presenting myself to you 

as someone you could take advantage of...  

That's all over with now.

- My Higher Self"

In case you didn't see the Angel before...

So here's what I got for this week (to remind myself):

1)  Take the time to rest and breathe and let your innermost thoughts and revelations bubble up to the surface.  Don't get too busy for yourself.  Don't drown yourself out with busywork.

2)  Keep climbing.  Keep making everything better.  Keep raising your own bar.  Blessings await.  Don't be afraid to let go of the old.  Trust that the new Blessings will come.  Keep going!

3)  Hey!  I should write a song about this stuff!  ;)

click here for: Tanya Diona's song "Stand"

Namaste,

T

#Proud

What an awesome week!!!

#proud...

First of all, words can not express how proud I am to be a member of SAG-AFTRA.  Through that affiliation, I stand with some of THE MOST AMAZING AND TALENTED PERFORMERS IN THE WORLD!

I began the week attending SAG-AFTRA meetings/events in NYC.  There, I felt absolutely privileged and Blessed to be present among some truly wonderful Angels who walk around masquerading as people.  I am blown away by the incredible talent of fellow members, but even more so by their incredible spirit.  This week, I've reconnected with familiar friends and met new friends who share a drive and dedication to the art and business of music and entertainment that I find beyond inspirational.  To be a part of this family of performers is a most amazing honor.

click here for SAGAFTRA.org - "About Us"

(Highlights from SAG-AFTRA's 2013 Inaugural National Convention)

#ilovesingers...

The camaraderie and family spirit among performers, entertainers and those who share a passion for the arts truly warms my heart.  Over the years I've often felt that way, with so many groups of people with whom I've worked.  There's just something magical about the bonds that you forge working side by side on stage (AND off) to make a show, a recording, and/or a performance into something special.  There's such a feeling of community and team spirit.

I had the opportunity to spend time with some extraordinary and very accomplished singers and entertainment professionals this week.  There were moments when I was overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation for all of them - and for countless others who paved the way for us to be able to do what we love for a living.  At one point, I looked around the dinner table and it occurred to me that the the talent, the résumés and accomplishments of those present was staggering, but even more impressive than that was the feeling of family, the kinship, the warmth, the laughter and spirit of love in the air.

L to R front: Janice, Dennis, Felicia, Me
L to R back: Sidney, John, Antonio, Louis, Carlos, Randy, Noah, Dan

L to R: Ada, Dennis, Me, John, Keith, Felicia, Carlos

#nostalgic...

By Friday it was time to make my way to Buffalo, where I had a gig with some very special singers from NYC who traveled all the way to my hometown to perform for a gala event there.  Nostalgia was running high as we remembered the "good ol' days."  Gordon and Wondress were the singers in the very first club date band I played with in NYC - and it was Gordon who introduced me to this band of performers and to Russell Graham (their keyboard player) who would become my husband.  (That first show was at "The Greatest Bar On Earth" - part of Windows on the World at the top of the North Tower of the World Trade Center - where the band played regularly until our last scheduled show there on September 11th, 2001, when the tower fell many hours before any of us were scheduled to arrive.)

There they both were, in my hometown of Buffalo, and Russ and I were both on the gig.  Joining us would be musicians from NYC and fellow Buffalonian Ken Witman on saxophone.  The show was great and we all expressed how wonderful it was to work together again.

with Gordon and Wondress

with Russ, Gordon and Wondress

with Ken

with Wondress

with Russ

Russ and Gordon

#gratitude...

As I write this on Sunday, finally relaxing for the first time this week, I recall all the events of the week and smile - thinking of the spirit of family, pride, nostalgia and gratitude that seemed to follow me around.  They were such profound and lovely feelings.  As I begin this week working on new music with my beautiful family of entertainment, music and studio professionals, I'll carry with me the spirit of last week.  I'll remember all of the amazing performers in history who fought for performers' rights and wages.  I'll remember the passionate spirit, friendly warmth and incredible talent of today's industry veterans.  I'll carry the memories of those first gigs in NYC, and reverence for those musicians who welcomed me, and for the journey itself.

This week, I'll walk with confidence and pride.  This week I'll carry all those exquisite people in my heart - with warmth and gratitude.  

Amen.

Namaste, 

T

Sunshine and Rain

Last week, there was an anniversary dinner...

a doggie swimming lesson...

a showcase in the city with a great band, awesome vocalists and lovely friends...

with John and Chevonne

with Chioma

I TRIED to have a photo shoot with Sadie and Bentley, but they weren't exactly cooperative...

Then it rained on my head.  Hard.

I was reminded that challenges will come to all of us.  

"Many a man curses the rain that falls upon his head, 

and knows not that it brings abundance 

to drive away hunger."

- Saint Basil

As the songs of last week still echo in my head (Full Force released their music video for "I Feel Good, I Look Good, I'm God Good") and a Joan Rivers special plays on television at this very moment, I look at shining examples of how meeting up with life's challenges can bring us strength and unique Blessings.           

"When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways

 - either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, 

or by using the challenge to find our inner strength."

- Dalai Lama

"Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions."

- Dalai Lama

Okay.  How do we do it?  How can we invite a miracle and turn water to wine - or rain into sunshine?  It seems to me that gratitude must play a major role.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, 

owned, earned, worn or consumed.  

Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute 

with love, grace and gratitude."

- Denis Waitley

"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, 

we can never do anything wise in this world."

- Helen Keller

Alright then.  Keep close to the gratitude and love, and away from the self-pity.  Got it.

As soon as I came back in the house, the rain stopped and the sun was blinding...

I remembered that sunshine always follows the rain and that if we zoom out a little, we can see the bigger picture...

My new bracelet

Have a Blessed week!

Namaste,

T

Keeping it Real

"Sometimes life can bring you joy..."

These are the first words of the lyrics I sang with Paul Anthony and Bowlegged Lou (of Full Force) from their new single "I Feel Good, I Look Good, I'm God Good" last week in Washington, DC.

I LOVED IT!

with Bowlegged Lou and Paul Anthony of Full Force

First of all - I was honored beyond belief when they asked me if I was available to do the shows.  It was the week of their new album release and I was to sing with them for two performances.  We were going to do two songs (both duets), and the recording artists on the actual record, whose parts I'd be singing, were Faith Evans and Tisha Campbell.

(Stop. Breathe. Jump up and down. OMG! OMG! Stop. Breathe. Calm down. You can do this.)

with Bowlegged Lou and Paul Anthony of Full Force

You see...

Once upon a time, there was a young female singer/songwriter who moved to the NYC area from Buffalo, NY when key members of her band left to tour with Rick James.  She didn't really know anyone there in NYC but was determined to make it on her own.  One day she nervously dialed the number on a card she received from a team of producers she had met earlier that year at a music conference.  To her surprise, she was met with a warm friendly voice and an invitation to their office/studio.  She went on to record and write songs there.  They were supportive and encouraging and even came down to The Apollo Theater when she competed on Amateur Night.  It was Paul Anthony who suggested the song she sing on "Showtime at the Apollo," which brought her a first place win.

Looking back, it wasn't just all of those specific things that proved most valuable for me.  It was the overall feeling that they believed in me.  I can't even measure how far that went toward my confidence as a vocalist and as a songwriter and I can not thank them enough.

I am blown away and so proud to be a co-writer on one of the songs on their new album!

As time passed and projects led everyone down their own paths, we spoke less often.  It had been a while since we had been in touch when their name came up in the studio as Russell, Joey and I were recording about a year ago.  Joey recalled seeing an episode of Unsung which featured them.  It was Joey who told me that Paul had cancer.

That's when everything at the studio came to a screeching halt as I looked up the episode online and saw for myself...

click here for "Unsung" excerpt... "Paul Anthony's Revelation"

The message I sent, to a number I had no idea whether or not was still working, was immediately returned with the same friendly spirit that greeted me all that time ago when I had first moved to NYC.  It was amazing and truly heart-warming.

The story of Full Force and Paul Anthony's journey is inspirational beyond description.  Now, with the release of their new album, words can not express how happy I am for them.  I was absolutely thrilled to see them again and it was like a dream come true to perform with them.

click here to view Fox 5 interview and performance of "I Feel Good, I Look Good, I'm God Good" with Paul Anthony, Bowlegged Lou, Tanya Diona

When I returned home on Wednesday, I was loving life and got straight to work with a spring in my step.  (I booked two shows before I even switched trains!)

The momentum continued through the weekend.  Saturday was the wedding reception of two wonderfully beautiful friends.  They were positively BEAMING with joy, and their warmth and love radiated through all of us who were present.  Everyone I spoke to shared that sentiment.  As we all laughed and smiled and cried tears of joy for them during the most amazing impromptu speeches EVER, it seemed obvious that this is the kind of pure happiness that God intends for us.  It's just simply the way things are supposed to be.  Nothing else matters.  It was perfect beauty to behold.

Jaynell and Coyote

As we were hugging goodbye, I remember saying, "Hold on to this joy.  It's the only thing that's real."

I believe it.

I'm going to live it - this week especially - and for as long as I possibly can.

Have a Joyous week y'all.

Namaste
T

Sometimes life can bring you joy

Sometimes life can take it away

That's why I stay lifted

and God Good everyday

So let no one steal your joy

no matter what the reason

Know in your heart HE walks with you

step into your season...

- From Full Force's 

"I Feel Good, I Look Good, I'm God Good"