The Blame Game

Early in the week I heard a news broadcast in which one of the featured guests said something that really caught my attention:

"You're not just responsible for what you say. 

You are responsible for what people hear."

- Gen. Michael Hayden

We have ALL played the blame game. We do it all the time. Examples of it are EVERYWHERE. What if there was absolutely no one else to blame for anything? What if we had to take complete responsibility for everything we experience and every feeling we have?

Alright then... I'll make a conscious effort to notice when I lean toward pointing a finger at anyone else for the way I feel. I'll ask myself what I can do within myself to work toward a better outlook.

Namaste,
T

All About the Journey

Last week, the day I posted the blog about that new house in the neighborhood, the water went out. While Russ was walking the dogs, he discovered why. While working on that new house, workers hit a water line, interrupting service for the whole neighborhood. Russ knew this because as he passed by that house, he saw the water and electric company trucks in front of it, and overheard workers and water representatives saying things like, “that should have been figured out before” and “that isn’t our responsibility.” All I knew was that I had to go to the gym to shower that day.

It was funny. I had just used that house as a model example of how to build our own selves, and there it was with a major problem disrupting the whole neighborhood. I realized that change isn’t always smooth and there are bumps in the road of our journey. That’s OK. It’s natural.

It was interesting that people were looking to place blame and not take responsibility for their own actions though. Don’t we all do that sometimes?  :)

I got this pendant over the summer…

It serves as a reminder to me that life is not about the destination, but the journey. This week, I’ll try to remember not to place blame for any aspect of my life on anyone else. I’ll take personal responsibility for my feelings and know that outcomes don’t matter as much as how you play the game. Being the kind of person you want to be is our own personal journey. Our outcomes reflect our choices, and what’s really important is what we learn along the way and how we live our lives. If we strive to make every decision from the standpoint of being the kind of person we want to be, we can trust that we’ll arrive at our perfect destinations.

"Every day is a journey

and the journey itself is home"

- Matsuo Basho

I looked up songs about journeys. This one came to mind, and this version… OOOH! 

Have a most Blessed week.

Namaste,

T

Hot Flashes... Can You Blame the Dog?

Yes.  Here's how...

Bentley

Step 1: Leave a roll of packing tape on the floor, well within reach of your dog who sometimes has separation anxiety.
Step 2: Go to church.
Step 3: Come home to find that dog has eaten much of the roll of tape.
Step 4: Travel by car for eight hours with said dog in the back seat.
Step 5: When dog throws up in back seat, stop at an exit ramp to let him out and clean up the car.
Step 6: Arrive at destination several hours later to discover that you've been bitten up by mosquitos while walking around on a strange exit ramp with dog. Apply Hydrocortisone cream and deal with it.
Step 7: When symptoms don't go away four days later, go to a clinic where you discover that you do not have mosquito bites, but poison ivy (from the dog tramping through it on that exit ramp and transferring it to you).
Step 8: Go to the pharmacy and fill the prescription they gave you for Prednisone.
Step 9: Accept the fact that a potential side effect of the steroid medication is hot flashes.

Did this actually happen?  Yes, except I didn't want to start the oral medication until I arrived back home from the gig in West Virginia, where the clinic diagnosed me.  So, I have the hot flashes to look forward to this week.  :)

The week prior had been a long one - with rehearsals, meetings and a flat tire incident that had me wandering through Jersey looking for a gas station with a working air pump.  Then there was VERY EARLY morning travel and a serious lack of sleep.  By the time I arrived at the airport, got on and off two planes, ran (about five miles) from one end of the airport to the other to make the connecting flight, and rode two hours in the van to the hotel (where the room wasn't ready yet, so we went to eat lunch before finally checking in), the last thing I wanted to deal with was bright red itchy spots on my arms when I took off my sweatshirt to take a much needed nap.

Classic band shot - en route to hotel

As I looked down at my arms and said, "This doesn't look right," I could hear the voice of my friend Paul Anthony echoing (from his TV episode of "Unsung") in my head.  He said, "You MUST be proactive.  You don't wait."  I considered waiting until Monday when I would be back in NY and could see my own doctor.  "You MUST be proactive.  You don't wait."  OK FINE!  I looked up health care facilities and spoke to a lovely hospital nurse who guided me to a clinic that was less than a mile from the hotel, and walked there.  Poison ivy.  I'm glad I listened.  Thanks Paul Anthony.

I laughed out loud at the pharmacy counter wondering if life could get more ridiculous.  I should've known not to ask that question.  As soon as I did, the pharmacist told me my prescription coverage had expired.  I laughed harder, waited while they looked up my coverage another way, and eventually bought the medicine.  I walked back through the rain to the hotel, applied the topical cream they gave me, wondered if makeup would conceal the red marks on my arms, thanked God that I'd thrown a long-sleeved dress in my suitcase as an option for the gig, and tried not to scratch.

The gig was great and the band was awesome!  I was one of five singers on the bandstand and they are all amazing performers!  I wore my long-sleeved dress and put a little makeup on my splotchy arms.

with the super-talented singers:  Brian, Chevonne, John and Charles

I recalled the chain of events and realized the humor in the fact that because Bentley had eaten a roll of packing tape, I had poison ivy and was facing hot flashes.  When I rewind the tape of my memory further though, I remember that I was the one who had left that roll of tape on the floor.  There was that brief moment when I saw it there and thought of picking it up, but I had been in a rush to get out the door and left it there instead.  If I had made a different choice in THAT moment, poison ivy may never have entered my life.

It looked like Heaven outside my airplane window on the way home

On the way home, when people asked how I was doing with regard to the poison ivy, I responded that it was a real exercise in mental discipline not to scratch like crazy.  (It really is too!)  It reminds me of the "blame game."  Oftentimes it's easy to place blame.  We do it all the time.  Sometimes it's hilarious!  Sometimes it's not.  While it might be funny to blame hot flashes on the dog, sometimes it's a real "exercise in mental discipline" to take responsibility for our own actions, consequences, happiness or unhappiness.

I'll remember that this week.  I may play the blame game from time to time (we're all human) and sometimes it's all just too funny, but I'll take responsibility for my own happiness and create my own destiny accordingly.

Today's calendar page from Louise Hay

Let's make it a GREAT week!

Namaste
T