Great Expectations

When I set out for church on Sunday morning, I fully expected to be inspired and positively energized there. It's not often that I say this but... church was a disappointment.

The priest started off his sermon by asking that any latecomers please remain in the back or wait until there was a hymn to seat themselves, so as not to "interrupt the whole atmosphere." I thought the priest himself interrupted the atmosphere by calling it to everyone's attention, and wondered briefly if he was talking about me. I had been there before the start of mass and since it hadn't started yet, had gone to find a restroom. When I returned, the congregation was singing and I didn't think anyone minded me walking up to a pew that had an empty seat on the end. However, that had been a good twenty minutes earlier and he was probably now speaking about people who were standing in the back at that particular time. It didn't matter who he was talking about though. I thought that it must have made a fair amount of people feel uncomfortable and I found his comments a bit unsettling.

The priest then launched into his homily, which had much to do with suffering and pain. I may not be giving him enough credit here, but the whole point of it seemed to be that we must suffer like Jesus and that pain is everywhere. I looked around to see if anyone else besides me found his message odd. If they did, they didn't show it. All the people were listening attentively.

He quoted something in some other language, then offered a translation. I believe he credited Buddha, but I might have misinterpreted due to his thick accent. I could have sworn he quoted Buddha as having said, "Pain and suffering is everywhere." WHAT WAS HE TALKING ABOUT???

I wanted to get up and leave. As luck would have it, I had to use the restroom again. (Never drink an entire bottle of water just before leaving the house for church.) I waited for a part of the mass when I felt I wouldn't be "interrupting the whole atmosphere" before I left my pew. The mass ended and the people were almost completely gone when I returned. The priest was shaking hands with congregants as they exited the church. His message also encouraged people to stand up for their beliefs and speak their mind (regardless of the suffering it might cause). I was tempted to stand up for my beliefs and tell him how much I disliked his sermon, but I resisted and exited through a different doorway.

I understand where he could have gone with his point... He was talking about sacrificing for others and I could relate to that idea. He could have talked about how joyous and rewarding it is to give selflessly to others. He didn't. He said we must sacrifice and suffer for the good of others. He made it sound like a miserable thing that we would have to endure.

I went home and conveyed my experience to Russ, who was getting ready to leave for a flight. We were stopping by his parents' house for a Father's Day visit before the airport. On the way we passed a McDonald's. I asked him to pull over.

I didn't want to stop for food. What caught my attention was the marquee in front. I was surprised, excited and nourished by it! It said, "The purpose of our lives is to be happy." (HA! and HA again!) I exclaimed, "I could've come HERE for spiritual guidance this morning!" Kudos to the manager of that McDonald's!

It's funny how you can find disappointment where you least expect it - and inspiration where you least expect it too. :)

Namaste,
T

P.S.

While writing this, I tried to find Buddha quotes having anything to do with pain or suffering. Here are a few that I found which run totally contrary to sentiments expressed at Sunday's service:

The Gray Area

"Throughout history, 
it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; 

the indifference of those who should have known better; 

the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; 

that has made it possible for evil to triumph." - Haile Selassie

I believe there exists in all of us a deep-seated spark that motivates us to act - or not act. It is uniquely our own. It is part of our journey through life that we confront the forces within that speak to us, and that we learn to listen and understand our own motivations in order to improve ourselves - and the world.

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, 

a quickening that is translated through you into action, 

and because there is only one you in all of time, this expression is unique. 

And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. 

The world will not have it..." - Martha Graham 

(This quote appears in the booklet of my album)

We all have our own unique passions, fears, desires, and experiences that drive us to do what we do. What specifically motivates us into action can be deeply personal. We are responsible for our own actions and our motives are for us to examine. We push our own selves to new levels as we hold ourselves accountable and to higher standards of truth, integrity and honor.

Whether we realize it consciously or not, we know the truths in our own heart as God does. Do we accuse others of hate with hate in our own hearts? If we "hate" another for "hating" - we still hate. Do we taint our own causes by contaminating them with our own personal objectives? Do they become vehicles for our personal anger or need for approval, or do they become agendas for some reason less honorable than genuine commitment, purpose and love? It is only for us to answer.

"You can see the speck in your friend's eye. 

But you don’t notice the log in your own eye. 

How can you say, 'My friend, let me take the speck out of your eye,' 

when you don’t see the log in your own eye? 

You show-offs! First, get the log out of your own eye. 

Then you can see how to take the speck out of your friend’s eye." – Luke 6:41-42

I believe there exists inside each of us - a gray area. A place we have not yet clearly seen. A truth we have not yet completely uncovered. As we all flounder along trying to do the best we can, I hope and pray that we will each be informed enough to actively excavate a little more of ourselves so that we can move ourselves forward, progress in some way that is uniquely our own - toward a better self and a better world by extension.

The death of Freddie Gray and the events in Baltimore last week have inspired some amazing tests and testaments of courage, strength, faith, action, leadership and community. I've been moved to great sorrow and tears by tragic injustice and burning anger - and also to great pride as exquisite leadership and inspiring forces stepped up to the plate with unparalleled passion and conviction to overpower hate with love, prayer, and God.

"Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation." - Oscar Wilde

"What you are must always displease you, 

if you would attain to that which you are not." - Saint Augustine

As the days, weeks, and even years relentlessly march on and we continue to face underlying issues surrounding these events and more... may we respect and honor ourselves and each other by shining some light on our own understanding and move ourselves to act, in our own unique ways, to better ourselves, our global family and the world we live in.

With deepest love and respect,

Namaste.

T