I did a thing this morning. I decided to celebrate every little thing I saw and thought of.
With absolute horror playing out in the world at this moment, it seems insensitive to post anything happy. Positivity helps though. People are depressed. Last night, I learned of an online friend who took their own life.
It's also understanding how seeing nothing but happy smiling faces can precipitate sadness when it seems like you're the only one who is NOT happy. Many of us have come to know that social media can set a false standard and add to a sense of isolation. On occasion, I've posted examples of life's trials and imperfections.
Just now, tears well up in my eyes as the little refugee boy walking alone cries. We are living in terrifying times. Below is a link from The Mayo Clinic with advice on how to identify and support friends and family who may be depressed.
As for me, I'll search for smiles and positivity. I'll post and share. I'll do it to strengthen myself as well as others. My sincere wish for us all is that we can strengthen ourselves enough to participate in the battles to come with strength and perseverance. Any way you look at it, there is a long road ahead. I hope we can find ways to secure our own oxygen masks, and be able to assist others with theirs - so to speak.
Love you all.
I'm down for stretching as far as I can without breaking. Don't break. Keep going.
The neighborhood high school was having a marching band event. We went to check it out. We weren't there long and kept a safe distance from all others, but it had a profound impact.
When Zachary came home he immediately went to his instruments and began marching around. He found a mic and did announcing just as they had done on the field. He said he wanted to be in the band when he's a big kid and asked his dad what marching band was like. (Russ played several instruments with his marching band when he was in school.)
I was reminded how important it is to focus on and surround ourselves with the things we want to do. They lead our minds and Spirits in the direction we want to go. News stories about social media and algorithms drove the point home. We need to make a conscious effort to direct ourselves where we want to be, not just be guided by what we like to complain about. Zachary and I spent a little time watching some marching bands and it opened up a whole world of thoughts and actions. More of that please.
He thought he would try bossing me around and quickly realized it was not a good way to speak to his mother. He tried to fix it by explaining that really he was just talking to himself. Then I pointed out that he ALSO has to be careful about the away he talks to himself.
It occurred to me that this is a lesson we might all take to heart. I've been guilty of excusing my own brusk speech by virtue of the fact that it is the way I would speak to myself. I might happen to be one of my own worst critics. It really doesn't make a good excuse for speaking to anyone else with discourteous bluntness, but WHY don't I try being more polite to MYSELF too?
I certainly don't have time for polite filters inside my own mind. I think, and I think fast - pulling no punches towards any kind of fragile ego. A lot of us can be quite harsh with ourselves. We have a lot to do and not enough time to do it. I get that, but we could ease up a little. Let's give ourselves a little break, take care of ourselves a little better, be a little sweeter to ourselves. I'm willing to bet it's going to show on the outside as well.
I may do this every year. This list is a work in progress. Time is short (isn't everyone's?) and we have a lot of stuff to do. I have my own thoughts and a very limited amount of time to research, so this is it for this year. There's no shortage of information online though. There are holiday survival guides for every aspect of life, so if there's something specific you're looking for (one dish meals, pet safety, beauty, house cleaning, etc.) you can do a search. As for this list, I've just taken some time out to remind myself about the things that might be helpful as I try to improve this holiday game a little bit each time around.
Started this blog in the store parking lot. Let the shopping begin!
1. Breathe.
Seems simple enough, but I slept in today. I had to. I didn't make it to the gym. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to. I'm not going to feel guilty about that. I needed sleep - end of story. I'm going to approach the season with that mindset. Everything will not get done. That's ok.
2. Get a game plan.
This is no time to wander about aimlessly. I need a list of things to do in order to make the most efficient use of time.
3. Be prepared to abandon the plan.
Life happens. Expect the unexpected and go with the flow. Precious moments can pass us by if we're not prepared to stop and take it all in. Zach said "baby" today. If I was too wrapped up in a plan of accomplishment and not paying attention, I might have missed it. It might not have happened at all if we hadn't taken the opportunity to FaceTime with Mimi (who taught him to say it).
Gotta take a break. He wants me to read him a book.
4. Remain guilt free.
I am going to miss some stuff. I can't be everywhere at all times. There's no room for second guessing and feeling bad about anything. Make a decision and stick with it - or don't - but either way DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. Nobody and nothing is perfect. Enjoy the ride.
5. Be kind.
This seems obvious but today in the store parking lot, a man stopped me as I was driving past. He indicated to me that he was about to pull away and I could take his spot. How nice was that!!! Kindness goes a long way. Let's be a part of the holiday joy and spread the love by being kind to each other. We're all in the same boat here. Let's smile.
6. It doesn't have to be expensive.
One of my favorite go-to stories about this is a childhood memory. An Aunt and Uncle had to "talk" to me. It sounded serious. They explained that money was tight that year and they couldn't afford to get me much. "This is all we could get you..." They proceeded to hand me a plastic cup filled with chocolates. I remember thinking, "WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER!" I never forgot that. People on your list appreciate you thinking of them. The gift doesn't have to be extravagant.
7. Wear a cross body bag.
This is no time to fool around. Everything has to be hands free. C'mon, get serious. Being preoccupied with looking cute will not do. (Wearing heels is OUT OF THE QUESTION. I just don't understand that at all.) That being said, put on a little lip gloss. I feel more confident and am more likely to make friendly connections with people when I feel at least a little bit put together. But can we NOT wear pajamas to the mall please? I mean, let's not get carried away. Strike a balance.
8. Drink water.
Hydration is a must - it ranks right up there with eating and getting enough sleep. This is a marathon. Start drinking enough water. As an added benefit, it may make you feel less hungry and less likely to pig out on unhealthy, desperate snack-age. Also, we'll need to drink plenty of water with any headache medication we may need to take - lol. Seriously though, it doesn't matter if we need to take extra time to find a restroom. Just do it. Drink the water.
9. Don't over-complicate anything.
I'm always trying to do something extra and add on other tasks. Do something, then check it off the list. Done. Keep it moving and steady as she goes.
10. Enjoy the ride.
I know I already said it, but it's an important one. Laugh at any and every chance. Spread the smiles. 'Tis the season - enjoy. If I feel the stress coming on and things get frantic... I'll try to let it go. Let's just be happy. Amen.
The grocery store check out clerk seemed tired and on auto-pilot. When Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer came on, I exclaimed, "Rudolph! Here we go!" as I loaded my items onto the conveyor belt. He smiled and continued smiling until I was rolling away and the lady behind me stepped up to the pin pad.
OK. That's all I got. The kid just fell asleep. That means I have to also. xo
Maybe this is a good time of year for taxes to be due. I feel like one of those new plants just coming up. I have to fight my way through the dirt before I can bloom. It's just like all this tax preparation. I have to relive the past year of life through old receipts and get through it all before I can truly embrace spring and sunshine and new ideas.
Sometimes, what I am thinking is perfectly reflected in my Louise Hay calendar...
Once I get through this, I know there is a new open road ahead! The book I've been reading talks about letting go of old ideas. (Simple, but not easy.) In The Game of Life, Florence Scovel Shinn writes about the idea of "Divine Design." It might not be the idea YOU have of how things should be going in your life, but instead the "Divine Idea." What is waiting for us in life may in fact be infinitely better than what we are imagining for ourselves, therefore we might want to let go of our own limited mindset and be free to allow the "Divine Idea" to manifest.
"Many a man is building for himself in imagination
a bungalow when he should be building a palace."
- Florence Scovel Shinn
This week, I'll keep getting through the old projects at hand. I'll invite the Divine Idea (whatever it might be) to enter my life and look forward to the Perfect New Adventure ahead! :)
I was tired. I didn't know how I was going to muster up the strength to get through the whole, four-hour-long, high-energy gig without anyone noticing my exhaustion.
A friend had sent me a selfie as I was leaving the house. I tried to send one back, but none of them were coming out well. I thought, "Geez, I look terrible." I was wearing my fatigue outwardly.
But then something amazing happened. After the long drive through the beautiful Hudson Valley and a very pleasant encounter with the nicest valet guy ever, I began to feel a little better. Upon greeting the other singer and some of the musicians, we started kidding around and laughing. By the start of the gig, I felt a LOT better. The crowd turned out to be the sweetest group of lively, friendly people, the staff was smiling and happy, my bandmates were the greatest bunch of guys (besides being awesome musicians), and I was absolutely thrilled to be a part of the whole event family. I had a fabulous time! No one would've guessed that I had started off the day so sluggish - including me! LOL.
"We cannot live only for ourselves.
A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow man."
- Herman Melville
L to R: John, Chris, Me, Paul, Harvey, Doug
Being a part of that fellowship was truly energizing - such an uplifting experience. I drove home with a profound sense of happiness and an energetic spirit, grateful to have been surrounded by such wonderful, positive energy. Also, I was reminded that we are exactly as we believe we are. Somewhere along the way, I had stopped thinking that I was tired and started thinking that I was going to have a lot of fun.
"Every thought we think is creating our future."
- Louise Hay
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
The mind is everything. What we thnk, we become."
- Buddha
"The words, 'I am...' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to.
The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you."
- A.L. Kitselman
I'll listen carefully to my thoughts this week. If I start telling myself "I am tired" or anything I wish not to be, I'll replace it with something more like, "I am going to have a great day!" It's just a thought, after all. It can be changed - like magic.
