I Make Plans, Carnegie Hall Laughs

Can you believe this?  I am being mocked by Carnegie Hall.

Have I ever told you all about the unpredictability of life as a musician/artist?  J  (I feel like that’s all I ever talk about sometimes.)  Oftentimes, I live in a whole world of crazy.  Last year, I relocated four times for various projects' beginnings and endings.  Why should this year be any different?

As preparations are underway for the cross-country trek for this year’s L.A. activities, I am going crazy making lists, making plans and trying to get it together.  It feels kind of like planning a wedding with a thousand things that you never thought you had to think about and every task leads to at least five other tasks that have to be done first.  Everything requires an immediate decision and again, before you make one, there are five more that have to be made first.  Am I driving or flying?  Are the dogs coming?  If the dogs are coming then I’ll have to drive, right?  Will Russ drive too or will he fly?  Won’t we need both cars out there?  Which car will I drive?  Will someone drive with me?  Who can I get to come with me if not Russ?  Can we even find an apartment, that allows the dogs, that we can also afford?  (Are you getting the picture here?)  Should I leave on Monday?  Oops, I am due for a doctor’s appointment and they only have an opening on Tuesday.  Will I have to pick up my other passenger in Buffalo?  Should we leave from there?  Well, that’s a big “if” anyway.  (Now are you getting the picture?)  I haven’t even begun to describe the packing process!  What to pack and what to ship?  Do I have any boxes? 

So I FINALLY think that we have established the date on which I will be traveling, THEN the phone rings and I hear:

            “What’s the fastest way to Carnegie Hall?”

            “Huh?  Did you dial the right number?  This is Tanya.”

            “I know.  What’s the fastest way to Carnegie Hall?”

            “Oh.  Is this a riddle?  Okay, I don’t know.  What?”

            “Answer ‘yes’ to my next question… Are you available Wednesday and Thursday?” 

            “GAW!  I was going to… um… uh… I guess I need the money.  (Oops, was that out loud!?)  Yes, I am available.”

           

I soon realized how ungrateful I sounded when presented with the opportunity to sing (as a background vocalist for Ray Chew's band) at Carnegie Hall!!!  What is WRONG with me?!  I had better call back and apologize!  GEESH!!!

This is EXACTLY why we only had two weeks to plan our wedding and why it is so difficult for me to commit to any kind of plan whatsoever.  THIS is why I have to just show up on friends' doorsteps at Christmas time for visits.  This is why I am always calling people at the last minute to see if they can get together “like now.”  J  So my plans got changed.  That’s okay.  This is my life.  I mean, why should I expect anything different? 

I have to go now.  I have to get to the bank, then the pet store, then Kinko's, the grocery store, post office, the other pet store, Target, the car wash, my in-laws, back home, Goodwill, the Transfer Station, dry cleaners, the doctor’s office, Buffalo and everything else on my list – unless something changes.

Xoxo!

Clean Sweep: Not Just for "Hoarders"

Packing for Idol last year...

Nothing makes me want to clean up the house more than watching an episode of “Hoarders.”  It motivates me to leap off the couch and start sorting everything in sight.  Bills will be paid, files will be put away and things will be donated and thrown out.  I can scan a room and organize spaces – seeing what can be better arranged or eliminated.  After that, it’s just a matter of following through with the work of actually doing it.

Other clutter is not so easily cleared away.  While looking for a quote on persistence last week, I came across this one from Steve Jobs:

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of other people’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary.

WELL ALRIGHTY THEN!  This is worth listening to!  Here’s the thing though – it is not so easy.  I think to do this effectively requires some quiet time.  There are times when it would be tempting to make a decision – just to prove someone else’s opinion wrong.  On the other hand, there are times when someone whom we know cares about us and whose views we greatly respect – and even ask for –  gives us an opinion that confuses us because it just doesn’t seem right.  How about when we like an opinion simply because it represents an easy way to handle something when we know the right thing to do is different?  Wait… this is the “noise” he was talking about, isn’t it.

“In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do.  The worst thing you can do is nothing.”

-       Theodore Roosevelt

Let’s not get lost here.  All the self-help books seem to have a section on meditation, reflection, journaling or some other type of quiet time.  Writing the album was a great exercise in freedom for me.  In order to write it we had to sit there and listen to our inner thoughts – be aware of the things that motivated us.  Then we wrote about those things.  I loved it!  The whole process represents amazing freedom of thought.  The end quote that appears in the CD booklet encapsulates the idea:

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.  The world will not have it.  It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions.  It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.  You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.  You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you.  Keep the channel open… No artist is pleased.  [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time.  There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive…”

-       Martha Graham

Fine.  As I continue to clean up and clear out things, in preparation for the next chapter of my life, I’ll try to listen to myself more.  Decisions have to be made.  Let’s get a move on it.

The world awaits...

photo by Danielle Graham

Confident Persistence vs Needy Stalker: When is it OK?

Ahhhh... the comfort of it all.  The knowing.  Oh happy day.

Not on purpose - I was just making scrambled eggs.

Do you think I’m nuts yet?  Okay, see what had happened was….

I called my favorite teacher – my acting teacher who I had not spoken to in years.  He is one of my most favorite people in the world and my favorite teacher of all time.  First I sent an email.  I literally jumped up and down when I got his response back inviting me to call.  We spoke just before the holidays and he suggested I call back the first week in January so we could set a time to get together.

I called the first Monday after New Year's and wondered how long I should wait before trying again.   As the days passed without a response, I started to agonize over it.  I debated with myself.  On one hand, I didn’t want to bother him.  He is a very busy man doing very important things and I am just a former student from years ago who reached out for help with auditioning techniques and updating and perfecting some monologues.  He’ll call when he can, I told myself.  On the other hand, he was always so encouraging about calling him and keeping in touch.  He would appreciate me following up and calling again.  He is one of those amazing gifted teachers who surpasses the lessons themselves in his teaching and ends up guiding his students through life-changing revelations that inspire them forever.  He would WANT me to be persistent.  He would appreciate my spirit and be proud.  Yet still, in my heart there was the terror of the possibility of offending him with my neediness.  This is my acting teacher and a DAMN good one at that.  He has the ability to look into my soul and see what I am feeling.  I remembered how nervous I was when I first went to meet him all those years ago.  I had been absolutely terrified and he assured me that it was because of the importance that I had placed on that meeting.  He was THE best and I so wanted him to teach me.  He did.  Russell and I both were fortunate enough to take private classes with him for a couple of years.  I let the week pass and decided to call again the following week.

I left another message for him the following Tuesday (Monday turned out to be too hectic of a day).  He called back that afternoon.  J J J  After discussing schedules and objectives, we set a tentative reconnect that weekend.

Before we hung up though, he said, “You know Tanya, you have to be more aggressive with me.  It took you way too long to call back the second time.  This is your art form for God's sake!”  J J J  I laughed out loud before replying, “I was hoping you would say that.”

This business of music and entertainment is full of challenges and disappointments – as is life and business everywhere.  Here especially though there is auditioning and rejection aplenty.  I like to believe that the only person who is truly capable of making you fail is yourself – when you quit.

I’m not going to stalk my teachers or casting directors or agents (I could go on and on here - and am pretty sure that stalking is never OK) but I am glad to be reminded of the value of persistence – especially by someone who cares.  (Launching into song…“Can you feel the love tonight…” - IDK just felt like it OK?)

“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence.  Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.  Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.  Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

-       Calvin Coolidge

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”

-       Confucius

Ten Tips for Coping with Taxes

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” 

                         - Albert Einstein

Here we go again… why do I NEVER enter receipts throughout the year as I am supposed to? 

My plan was to do a “top ten” list of cute funny things – that might also work – to help get through tax time.  Not only could I not come up with anything, but internet searches didn’t yield much.  I did find some stress coping techniques (both positive and negative) and some funny quotes… but I would ACTUALLY like to get through this business of taxes so I am encouraging any advice (both serious and for fun).  I have been chipping away at this tax stuff all week though, and finally managed to come up with a few things I found helpful for myself.

“The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.” 

                         

- Will Rogers 

Among the “positive” coping techniques I found online were Yoga, guided imagery and positive self talk (whatever THAT is).  The “negative” coping strategies included substance abuse, denial and self blame.  (Let's not resort to going there okay?)

“The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.” 

                         

- Barry Goldwater 

Here’s what I’ve personally found to be helpful:

1.)  Partner up.  It is way more fun when you’re not alone.  Russ has been working on his paperwork too this week – and I feel like I’ve done a lot more than I would have on my own.

2.)  Practice gratitude.  I am reminded that I have to pay income tax because I am Blessed enough to have an income.

“Nothing hurts more than having to pay an income tax, unless it is not having to pay an income tax.” 

                         

- Thomas Robert Dewar

3.)  Stretch.  This is right in line with the Yoga thing.  I haven’t done yoga yet this tax season, but my back is killing me and Russ keeps yelling at me to stretch more.  It does help.

4.)  Sit in a comfy chair.  I’ve heard that one with armrests can take 20% of the weight off of your back.

5.)  Play the “Reward” game.  I like to set myself up with a reward for accomplishing a task.  The only trouble is in finding a reward that’s not detrimental.  I’m saving the root beer float for the big day when all is done.  :)

6.)  Alternate tasks.  I find it much less monotonous and much more manageable to switch tasks and keep the “to do” piles small.  Take one bite at a time.  I like to sort some papers, then enter some receipts, then file some things, then back to another pile of receipts.

7.)  Mini Spa – I am sooooo going to do this.  It’s two, two, two things in one!  It's a reward, and it’s like yoga and meditation.  A hot bath (this was my grandmother’s cure for everything), a pedicure, some aromatherapy candles all sound good to me.

8.)  Plod onward.  One of the biggest motivations I have is knowing that the sooner I get all of this done, the sooner I don't have to do it anymore.

9.)  Wind down.  An end-of-the-day routine helps relax and cue my body for bedtime.  Routinely reading a book, playing a video game, watching a program, or drinking a cup of tea helps to turn it all off and get some well deserved rest before picking it all up again tomorrow.

10.)  Find a way to make it more fun.  Turn on some fun music, take a break to find some funny tax quotes, use a fun novelty pen, talk to yourself out loud in some quirky accent – anything to take the edge off and smile.  Life is too short.

“How much money did you make last year? Mail it in.” [Suggested simplified tax form] 

                         

- Stanton Delaplane 

Please leave a comment with your tips for coping with taxes.  I can’t wait to hear!

Much Love,

T

“Did you ever notice that when you put the words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together, it spells ‘THEIRS?’” 

                         

- Author Unknown 

Yes We Can... Can't We?

One of the things I got for Christmas is a little wall plaque that says “Yes We Can.”  It was given to me because apparently I’ve been saying “I can’t” quite a bit lately.  Sometimes I say it when I just refuse to deal with something that I feel like I shouldn’t have to deal with anyway. 

The truth is that sometimes we are all faced with circumstances that seem unfair.  Sometimes also, the truth is that no matter how much I want to, and sometimes do say “I can’t,” the reality is that I must.

I will leave you with two things…

One is my song, “Let It Roll.”  Please listen to the lyrics.  It is about holding on to faith when we are faced with challenges.  When we wrote the song, we inserted the chorus into the middle of the verses.  The first part of each verse is the problem at hand.  Then the chorus about holding on to our faith comes and the listener has to literally “let it roll” to hear the outcome of the problem.  We are then faced with a new challenge in verse two and must have faith and “let things roll” again.  I find it encouraging to journey through the lyrics.

Click here to play "Let It Roll"

The second thing I’d like to share is a video clip from Oprah’s Master Class.  I know she has the right attitude.  I know that what she says is true. 

Click here to play Oprah's Master Class Video

I do believe that we are always EXACTLY where we are supposed to be.  There are many lessons to be learned and challenges to face.  There are obstacles to overcome and battles to be won.  It’s not always fun and certainly not always fair.   Sometimes it downright sucks.  If ever there is a time when “I can’t” though, rest assured it is temporary.  Perhaps for a while I won’t, but I most definitely can and most likely will.

Thanks for the gift – and for the reminder.

:) xoxo