SAD IS BAD... So Don't Ever Do It... (Really?)

SAD IS BAD.  So don't ever do it.

(Is she for real?)  

NO!!!  As I once heard Alan Arkin say, “I’m an actor.  I exaggerate.”

OK – here’s the deal this week… for whatever reason (I’m sure a combination of winter doldrums, stress, hormones and/or any one of the million life circumstances that currently surround me including a probable lack of vitamin D) this was a sort of melancholy week.  So what?

So I found myself wanting to post things like this…

“Disappointments are just God’s way of saying 

‘I’ve got something better’ 

Be Patient… Live Life… Have Faith.”

 –Lanette Sem

Accompanied by my own caption…

“Sitting here by the window, 

as I listen to the birds chirp from outside, 

for a moment… 

I thought I heard… 

Spring.  

And as I write a sad song, I’m reminded that 

the Promise awaits.”

I never posted it. 

Why?  I was afraid people would think I was sad and worry about me and then ask a ton of questions about it and then worry some more and then seem to be appeased but silently think that there was SOMETHING WRONG with me and somehow judge me for it. 

WHAT!??  Why?  Why is it not okay to feel a little blue sometimes?  Should we feel sad, then add guilt to the mix for feeling that way in the first place?  Silly.  How about if we just squish down our emotions into the deep recesses of our core and deny their existence until they finally manifest themselves in the form of an ulcer or some other ailment?  Is it just me, or is this equally as ridiculous?

I’m reminded of my studies in acting.  My favorite teacher impressed upon us that a lot of people go through life suppressing their emotions. This is understandably so a lot of the time.  We can't always go around spouting off whatever it is we feel at any given moment.  I mean, what if you told your boss how you REALLY feel at all times?  What if you never self-edit your emotions to your relatives, significant others or even random strangers?  (Remember that movie “Liar, Liar”?)  How many times have we heard, “Suck it up” or “Don’t let them see you cry” or tried to hide our true emotions for fear of what others might think – or been told we “shouldn't” feel a particular way?

My acting teacher then reminded us of one of the main reasons why we go to the movies, the theater or concerts.  Oftentimes, it's because it is OKAY TO FEEL there in those environments.  At the theater or at the concert hall, it is socially acceptable to FEEL.  We need that emotional release.  This is one major reason why the work that actors, musicians, writers, and artists do is so important – and why music and art in schools is invaluable.

Click here for “Music Is Art” – a not for profit organization in Buffalo, NY founded by Robby Takac of the Goo Goo Dolls. “MiA explores and reshapes music's cultural, social and educational impact on our community.” One of the many things they do is collect and donate instruments to area schools in need.

I am NOT SAYING it's okay to try and deal with serious or intense emotions or depression on your own – nor do I intend to make light of them.  Furthermore, if you think you or someone you know is depressed, you or they should seek professional medical attention.  (Sorry if this seems obvious.)

Click here for WebMD's “6 Common Depression Traps to Avoid”

I AM saying that there’s nothing wrong with allowing ourselves to genuinely feel an emotion.  Emotions inform us and guide us intuitively.  I say feel them.  Allow them.  Listen to them.  And what about understanding when someone else feels them?

As for me?  I listened to a couple of sad songs and cried a little, wrote one of my own, searched for (and found) some uplifting inspiration, talked to some friends, got on with the business of life, played with the dogs, went to church and feel better now.  :)

Also, I found this:

“Are you troubled and sad? I beseech you

Come out of the shadows of strife –

Come out in the sun while I teach you

The secret of life.

Come out of the world -

Come above it –

Up over its crosses and graves,

Though the green earth is fair and I love it,

We must love it as masters not slaves.”

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

OK, I get it...  Don't be a slave to the sadness or troubles of this world...

OF COURSE NOT!  Now THAT really would be bad.

Namaste!

Much Love,

T

xoxo

Confident Persistence vs Needy Stalker: When is it OK?

Ahhhh... the comfort of it all.  The knowing.  Oh happy day.

Not on purpose - I was just making scrambled eggs.

Do you think I’m nuts yet?  Okay, see what had happened was….

I called my favorite teacher – my acting teacher who I had not spoken to in years.  He is one of my most favorite people in the world and my favorite teacher of all time.  First I sent an email.  I literally jumped up and down when I got his response back inviting me to call.  We spoke just before the holidays and he suggested I call back the first week in January so we could set a time to get together.

I called the first Monday after New Year's and wondered how long I should wait before trying again.   As the days passed without a response, I started to agonize over it.  I debated with myself.  On one hand, I didn’t want to bother him.  He is a very busy man doing very important things and I am just a former student from years ago who reached out for help with auditioning techniques and updating and perfecting some monologues.  He’ll call when he can, I told myself.  On the other hand, he was always so encouraging about calling him and keeping in touch.  He would appreciate me following up and calling again.  He is one of those amazing gifted teachers who surpasses the lessons themselves in his teaching and ends up guiding his students through life-changing revelations that inspire them forever.  He would WANT me to be persistent.  He would appreciate my spirit and be proud.  Yet still, in my heart there was the terror of the possibility of offending him with my neediness.  This is my acting teacher and a DAMN good one at that.  He has the ability to look into my soul and see what I am feeling.  I remembered how nervous I was when I first went to meet him all those years ago.  I had been absolutely terrified and he assured me that it was because of the importance that I had placed on that meeting.  He was THE best and I so wanted him to teach me.  He did.  Russell and I both were fortunate enough to take private classes with him for a couple of years.  I let the week pass and decided to call again the following week.

I left another message for him the following Tuesday (Monday turned out to be too hectic of a day).  He called back that afternoon.  J J J  After discussing schedules and objectives, we set a tentative reconnect that weekend.

Before we hung up though, he said, “You know Tanya, you have to be more aggressive with me.  It took you way too long to call back the second time.  This is your art form for God's sake!”  J J J  I laughed out loud before replying, “I was hoping you would say that.”

This business of music and entertainment is full of challenges and disappointments – as is life and business everywhere.  Here especially though there is auditioning and rejection aplenty.  I like to believe that the only person who is truly capable of making you fail is yourself – when you quit.

I’m not going to stalk my teachers or casting directors or agents (I could go on and on here - and am pretty sure that stalking is never OK) but I am glad to be reminded of the value of persistence – especially by someone who cares.  (Launching into song…“Can you feel the love tonight…” - IDK just felt like it OK?)

“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence.  Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.  Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.  Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

-       Calvin Coolidge

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”

-       Confucius