The Mommy Identity

I can't keep up. When did the world start moving past me at 160 miles per hour? I can speak with almost everyone I know in a matter of seconds online. Everyone has their own news feeds that I can't possibly keep up with. I start the day with the best of intentions to accomplish all kinds of things and with a "get up and go" attitude, then I just have to change a diaper real quick...

Then I have to change his clothes because he leaked. Then I have to throw in a load of laundry because he's almost out of sleepers. Then I have to just entertain him for a little while as long as he's up and about. When he starts to get fussy, I realize he's hungry. As I'm feeding him, he dirties his diaper again. I have to hold him upright for a while though, or else he'll spit up. I change him again when I think enough time has passed, but as soon as I get him all cleaned up he spits up all over his clean clothes and mine. Alright. I change him again and grab a fresh outfit from the dryer. I flip the laundry while I'm at it. I get him all cleaned up again and he finally settles in for a nap.

The dogs have to go out. The sink is full of dishes. I haven't peed or eaten anything in hours. The garbage is full. There are dirty tissues and blankets all over from his "spitties" and "wetties." They all have to go in the washer - but wait. I'll shower quickly first before he wakes up. I have to get out of the shower twice all dripping wet and sudsy to put his pacifier back in his mouth because it fell out and he started screaming about it. (Last week the toilet also got clogged up and I thought I might have a nervous breakdown as a result!)

When all of THOSE tasks are accomplished, I can't even remember what it was that I actually wanted to get done for the day and it doesn't matter because I need to take a nap while he is still asleep. The moment my head hits the pillow, he wakes up crying because he's wet and we start the whole routine over again because I am living in the movie "Goundhog Day."

Then it's blog day (SMH) and I seriously consider not doing it.

Last week Russ was working at home for a few days so I went grocery shopping. I got a new app for recipes and bought the ingredients to make a couple of things. While waiting in the check out line a Woman's Day magazine caught my eye and I threw it on my grocery pile.

When I got home the food had to be put away, the baby was crying and the dogs had to go out. As we were divvying up the tasks (thank GOD for Russ) I said, "I got a new recipe app. I'm going to make stuff. This is what I do now. I'm a happy homemaker."

Russ: "You're a happy homemaker?"

Tan: "Well, I'm not exactly happy, but I DID buy a Woman's Day magazine and THAT'S gotta count for something."

What's my point? #MOMMYIDENTITYCRISIS!!! LOL (And I AM happy about mommy life, just exhausted.) :)

I've talked to several people over the last few weeks who have tried to compartmentalize their life and social media postings. Some have separate sites for their "mommy" things, as opposed to their personal things. One had a separate page for her weight loss journey. They all ended up consolidating or combining sites in an effort to save time and sanity.

I guess my point is that while I'm not going to turn this into a "mommy" blog, the genuine aspects of my life include this now and I haven't completely figured out how everything is going to blend together here. While I haven't talked to a lot of people about what I've been up to lately, those that I have spoken with in depth have expressed an appreciation for me sharing experiences that they could relate to. I know that I have to be myself. I'm going to have to include this new (AND MAJOR) aspect of my life here while trying to hang onto my own individuality at the same time. I know everyone deals with this kind of identity adaptation when they become parents or go through some other type of significant life change too. All we can do is be honest and keep going. :)

Love you all. Thanks for listening. xo

Namaste,
T

Distance Learning

Isn't this a fascinating world!?

An Earth pic might have been better, but that would've required me standing on the moon with my zoom lens - LOL.

Here we all are, trying to journey along... and here are all these cultures, religions, customs, theories, practices, philosophies, etc. - all tools for us to use to gain higher understanding... #FASCINATING!

I WANT TO LEARN MORE!

Click here for "List of religions and spiritual traditions" on Wikipedia

Click here for hayhouse.com and its wealth of books, authors and information

I suppose this line of thought was inspired by meeting new people, talking with old friends, learning about far away places, hearing inspirational stories on Facebook, and listening to other people's perspectives. It's amazing what we can learn in a click! What's more, in sharing things that I've learned, I've met MORE people and uncovered MORE things in common with those I already know! This seems so simple, but I'm excited about it. :) It's heartwarming to feel connected.

Bette Midler "From A Distance"

Have an illuminating week!

Namaste,
T

#GoTheDistance :) 

 Remember this? From Field of Dreams...

A Bigger Dream

This was the recurring theme all week: faith, acceptance, belief. It came up over and over again in different conversations with different people. I was reminded of one of my favorite Oprah clips.

Here's to a faith-filled week.

Namaste,
T

The Conversation...

In these interesting times, social media has many people involved in debate. The conversations are important, but sometimes they cease to be a conversation. Sometimes people are just lashing out - or seem to be deliberately inspiring others to do so. It can be challenging to voice an opinion when it feels like an invitation to argument and negativity.

"Hamilton" actor Brandon Victor Dixon was recently asked about the dos and don'ts of speaking out and making political statements:

"I think the 'do' is to make sure that whatever you say, that you lead with positivity, that you lead with love so that you can continue to invite people into the conversation... A lot of times we want to demonize the opposition... In our country we get into this process of winning and losing... I think it's important to make criticisms of the government as a whole and criticisms of the policies, but to do so in a way that you can invite the individuals who maybe were on the opposition before, who voted for somebody who now you are in disagreement with, that you open the door for a conversation with those people because we have to be able to come together. We have to be able to speak with one another. And that is how you alter coalitions. That is how you grow coalitions. That is how you grow consensus."

- Brandon Victor Dixon

Click here for Brandon Dixon's interview on CNN

I am reminded of an audiobook I have, of a lecture by Carolyn Myss about archetypal patterns:

"If you understand that you're an Advocate and you get that about yourself, you've gotta understand your own journey. Understanding your own journey means, 'I am crafted to represent somebody or a cause. The dicey thing for me is if I make the cause personal. The moment I make the cause personal is the moment I will involve my personal anger as fuel. If I involve my personal anger as fuel, I will take the anger from my youth. I will take anger that has nothing to do with this cause and I will smash it into people's faces and I will feel justified doing that... That contaminates everything I'm doing.'"

- Carolyn Myss, Archetypes: Who Are You? (audiobook)

Click here for additional Carolyn Myss: "Going Deep: Using Archetypes to Explore Personal and Global Change"

Here's to us each finding our voice and our passions while avoiding the pitfalls - wherever we may be on our journey.

Namaste,

T

Only Love...

"On the day of my judgement, when I stand before God 

and he asks me why did I, did I kill one of his miracles, 

what am I going to say? That it was my job?"

- Paul, The Green Mile

Humanity.

As I've watched the news and people's posts, I keep coming back to that scene in The Green Mile. People are willing to risk life and limb crossing the Canadian border in sub-zero temperatures to avoid deportation. Mothers are being torn from their families. Others are hiding in the sanctuary of churches. I keep wondering what the people "just doing their job" must be feeling.

It is time to reach deep within and stand up for ourselves - and by "ourselves" I mean our brothers and sisters. We are all one.

"My reason for pushing back on Marvin wasn't to stop the single, 

just to determine whether or not this was another one of his wild ideas... 

Motown was about music for all people - white and black, blue and green, cops and the robbers. 

I was reluctant to have our music alienate anyone. This was a big risk for his image."

- Berry Gordy

There are risks involved with taking a stand for what we believe - even when we know what is right. My prayer this week is for strength for us all, that we fearlessly stand up for what we believe in.

"I am not afraid because fear is a choice; it is not a fact. 

So today I ask you, in the true grit and spirit of a New Yorker, 

that you choose courage in the face of fear."

- Linda Sarsour

Click here for "New Yorkers rally to say "Today I am a Muslim too"

Namaste,
T

#DiveIn

Earlier this week I saw some kind of television show (may have been an infomercial) comparing taking care of oneself in retirement to being on an airplane and securing your own air mask first, before helping others.

We have to take care of ourselves in order to be able to help each other - of course.

Then there was the story of a woman trapped in her car as it was sinking into a freezing pond when a complete stranger, who just happened to see the car go off the road, jumped in the water to save her.

Click here for story: "Driver Stops to Save Woman from Sinking Car..."

I hope we take care of ourselves. We HAVE to. I also hope we don't hesitate to jump in after those who need us.

"We are constantly reminded about the things that divide us. Race, region and religion. Gender, sexual orientation, political party. But what we need so desperately are more reminders of all that binds us together - our shared history, our common values and our dedication to build for ourselves a more perfect union. More than a century ago, a poem was combined with a musical composition and became an instantly recognizable song the world over... 'America the Beautiful' captures the essence of our country and reminds us that we are - and always will be - one people, from sea to shining sea. In times of triumph and tragedy, we turn to song and the abiding power of music to lift our spirits, soothe our souls and remind us that everything will be OK."

- Neil Portnow, Grammy Speech 2017

Click here for Neil Portnow's Grammy Speech

Namaste,

T

Something to Believe In

Even BEFORE the Super Bowl, I was thinking of this...

Some game huh? Most people I know were rooting for the Falcons. After tasting victory, the loss seemed even more pronounced. There was much excitement, grumbling, gloating and disappointment. You saw it all if you were following along on social media. Then I came across several posts with another theme. They suggested looking from another angle, noticing a deeper meaning and learning something from the whole experience. They were talking about how it is possible to make a great comeback. The idea that we can win when everyone one else thinks we are losing is something we can apply to our own life situations. (Smile - I like that idea.)

There have been times this week when I have been overwhelmed with gratitude. Looking in on my sleeping family as I began writing this in the middle of the night was a classic example. Tears welled up as I truly felt as if I'd been granted every wish I'd ever hoped for - so Blessed. I wouldn't have guessed I'd be looking in on my newborn son at this time last year. I had given up on the idea.

I see the value in so many different kinds of posts  now. There's definitely a time for everything. A time for protests, a time for healing, a time for laughter, a time for sadness... I appreciate every turn of the wheel - every single thing (comfortable or not) that leads us ultimately to the next thing.

I love that people are finding balance. There are articles that educate, anger, or inspire. Then there are humorous posts with puppies and babies that make us all laugh and smile. Then there are football games and cheers. Then it's back to work.

I truly believe we're always being led to the good around every corner. We can't always see it or understand it, but everything in its own time - will come.

#Believe #BlessedBeTheJourney #Love

Namaste,
T