Don't Look Back

This is all I have this week. I saw it on an inspirational poster in a shop. There was no author that I could find. It really stuck with me.

Rehearsals this week in preparation for the big show! I've been working hard and there's more of that this week.

Blessed week to you!

Namaste,
T

#TeenaMarie

xoxo

Prayer of St. Francis

#Truth...

First thing last week, I read an incredibly inspirational post from Dr. Wayne Dyer (one of my favorite authors) about the Prayer of St. Francis.  I absorbed every word of his post and strived to live the philosophy all week.  As I sat down to write this blog, I reviewed Dr. Dyer's words.  I don't think I can say it any better, so I'll be sharing his words along with the original prayer and a lovely vocal version by Sarah McLachlan.

There's nothing else to say.  These words were like a guiding light for me all week.  Once I adopted this mindset and applied some practical applications a few times, I walked with a sense of confidence and peace.  That's what I'll carry with me this week.  :)

Namaste,
T

The Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

Sarah McLachlin's vocal version...

Click here for Wikipedia article on Saint Francis of Assisi

From the Facebook page of Dr. Wayne W. Dyer (posted on Nov. 11, 2014):

"Lord, make me a channel of thy peace.
…That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
- from The Prayer of St. Francis

Perhaps the surest way to find happiness and joy for yourself is to devote your energies toward making someone else happy. If you make an effort to search for joy you will find it elusive, largely because you will become engaged in the search itself. Your life will be about striving. However, if you try to bring happiness to someone else then joy will come to you.

How To Be Happy 

You come into this life with nothing and you leave with nothing. The only thing you can do with your life is give it away. This is the true essence of feeling purposeful. This is the way to have joy in the face of sadness. You experience joy when you attempt to bring it to others. This is what Saint Francis understood to be the goal of life.

The entire second part of the prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi is a testament to the truth that we find joy by giving it away. And in order to give it away, we must possess it ourselves.

…grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;

I have found that most of the times that I am engrossed in sadness due to a problem it is because of something that someone else has said or done, or failed to do. So this is the “problem.” I am sad because of the actions or inactions of others. Now, of course, this is an illusion; something that I have created in my thoughts. It is in my mind that I am experiencing the “problem.” So, what is the solution? It is always so simple.

Would You Rather Be Right or Be Happy?

The solution is to align with Spirit and attempt to bring some joy to someone else. When engaged in helping others, my sadness disappears instantly. I send joy to the people whom I perceive to be the source of my sadness. That seems difficult. After all, my ego reminds me, they are wrong and I am right. And, of course, my ego would much rather be right than happy.

But I tame my ego, and change the thoughts I have of being wronged to thoughts of joy for those who I perceived have annoyed me. Instantly and permanently my sadness dissolves like magic. By sending joyful loving thoughts to others, particularly to those whom I have perceived to be the source of my sadness, I end the problem, which only existed in my mind to begin with.

Find Joy By Giving it Away

As you get better at finding joy by giving it away you will find that another shift takes place. First you were working with your thoughts only, which is where you experience sadness. As you transform those thoughts of sadness into joy, your emotions will follow. You will experience a shift in your sense of physical well-being and begin to feel better. You will feel lighter, more comfortable, and healthier. Your feelings of despair, anger and depression will begin to dissolve, and then your behavior will change to follow the path of joy. You will reach out to those who have “wronged you” with forgiveness and extend a helping hand to those who used to be classified as your enemies.

From thoughts to feelings to behaviors, your entire life shifts away from problems when you find your purpose by giving joy away."

Thank you Dr. Wayne Dyer!  That was just what I needed.

Change Change Change...

Has the world gone mad?

I attended a meeting in the city where a woman stood up and wanted to discuss the rights of pixels.  Yes, pixels - the little dots that comprise the picture on your television and digital images everywhere.  Apparently, people worry about the rights of those little dots.  I was almost convinced the evening would prove to be a complete waste of time, and was teetering on the fence between amusement and irritation.  It seemed I had trudged my butt all the way into the city for no apparent reason.  Thankfully, my attitude turned all the way around when a lovely and perfectly sane casting director got up to speak.  She was inspirational and motivational.  I was fortunate enough to meet her and she invited me to submit my résumé to her.   Suddenly, I was launched forward into résumé updating, photo shoot scheduling and online submission forms, etc.  I felt good leaving the city that night and had a nice sense of accomplishment.  It turned out to be a wonderful way to start the week after all.  I fully expected this blog to be about forcing yourself to just put one foot in front of the other until something makes sense, as it had done that night (Just keep going!  One step at a time...), but as the week evolved that idea changed.

It was a busy week of travel and photo shoots, but I also managed to spend some time in nature...

"Speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee."

- Job 12:8

I don't normally think of this as my favorite time of year.  It seems kind of depressing when it gets cold and dark.  The winter coats come out of the closet and the patio furniture gets put away.  I start thinking about shoveling and I get the snowblower tuned up.  Air conditioners, bikes and summer dresses are put away.  (Sigh)  I wanted to get out and take some pictures of the pretty trees before all the leaves disappear. 

Funny how nature reflects everything...

Change and growth...

The beauty of things...

The climb...

Out of the darkness and into the light...

The sometimes ominous look of things...

The fork in the road...

Crossing that bridge when we get to it...

Everything I saw inspired thought.  I thought about that fence between amusement and irritation and how easy it is to go over the brink.  I thought about falling back (just like the clocks) into old habits and how effortless it is to just write off other people when we don't understand them.  (I'd been battling irritation all week and posted this link on Thursday:  "Sometimes, the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot" -DJTOD.)  I was searching for a way to keep from sinking into the negative and to keep a bright, positive spirit - even in the face of challenge.

On Sunday, I met the most wonderful and amazing woman.  She wrote a book, "From Stage IV to Center Stage."  She was diagnosed with stage IV cancer in her throat/neck, and was given three months to live.  Twenty-two months later, she sang the National Anthem at Fenway Park.  Nine years later, there I was, sitting in church listening to her story and hearing her say, "Challenges are nothing more than doorways to transformation."

"Denise DeSimone is an ordained interfaith minister, an inspirational/motivational speaker, a singer, and is also certified in multiple alternative healing modalities.  She is a wellness coach to cancer patients.  Denise also created Pray Peace, a multimedia offering of personal and global peace."

- from the back cover of her book, "From Stage IV to Center Stage"

click here for Denise's website

I attended her workshop on sound healing and had a most wonderful experience.  Before beginning a guided meditation that utilized vibrational sound energy, we set deliberate "intentions" for the experience.  My intention was "love space" - the place of positive energy.  I don't want to be in a negative space, or think that other people are idiots, or waste ANY time being anything but joyous.  I know that we can transform any thought, any idea, any pattern.  I know we are capable of letting go of old ideas and habits, and capable of change.  I wanted to bring in the happy and the new, and weed out all sources of irritation at the core.  As Denise introduced us to sound healing, she spoke about how easy it can be to transform an irritating sound to the point that you don't even hear it.  :) :) :)

Perfect!!!!!

This week, I'll continue the meditation practices she taught us and learn more.  (I bought her book and her CD.)  I will not have to resort to thinking of anyone else in a less than favorable light just to make myself feel better.  I'll train myself to hear joyous sounds and see miracles everywhere.

"There are two ways to live: 

You can live as if nothing is a miracle; 

or you can live as if everything is a miracle."

- Albert Einstein

"We cannot love without evolving 

and we cannot evolve without love."

- Denise DeSimone

Namaste!

T

Banish the Funk: 1-2-3 (The attitude, not the music)

What do a trip up a mountain on a horse, a Karate / self defense class, and a beach club gig all have in common?  

They're all part of a three-step process for the banishment of a midweek funk maybe???

It was Wednesday and I found myself getting annoyed by people.  I decided that it wasn’t anyone ELSE'S fault that they were annoying me, but that there must be something going on with ME that I was allowing myself to BE annoyed by others.

My solution?  Get away from everyone and climb up a mountain on horseback.  I don’t know why.  I guess I figured that the solitude and fresh air and horses would help me get my spiritual balance back.  They did!  It was great!

It was a two hour trip up and down a “challenging” trail on the Allegany Reservation in Cattaraugus County, New York.  The Crosspatch Ranch is “nestled in the foothills of the Allegheny Mountains” ("Allegheny" is spelled two different ways) and is a family owned horse ranch with an “emphasis on helping people fulfill dreams.”  (OK - I’m down with that.)  Apparently, all their horses are rescues and they also give lessons on how to “throw a rope,” drive cattle and barrel race.  Maybe next time I’ll do that.

click here for The Crosspatch Ranch

So I had a grand time on Kate, who graciously carried me up a steep climb through nature’s beautiful scene and back down through the forest and stream with care.  There’s something so warm about the bond you can make with an animal nine times your weight as you trust them to carry you with gentle grace and they obediently trust your guiding instruction.  Kate even posed for selfies with me after we got back to the barn.  :)  Such a good horse...

I returned with a much better attitude, that wonderful sense of confidence that comes with inner peace and serenity, and a very sore butt.  :)

Next up – Karate lesson.  Ever since I found out that my cousin was an 8th degree black belt, I’d been wanting to go learn a thing or two about Karate from him.  Friday was finally the day!  Off I went with my friend and neighbor Katie to learn some things about self-discipline and the martial arts at Johnson’s Black Belt Academy.  Their mission statement is to “provide men, women and children with the opportunity to realize their maximum potential through martial arts study.” (AWESOME!!!)  They believe “a martial arts education is a vehicle for self-discovery and positive change” and also that “it can improve the world – one person at a time.”  (AWESOME AGAIN!!!)

click here for Johnson's Black Belt Academy

Greg and Melissa met us there and guided us through demonstrations and a variety of self-defense moves.  

We practiced removing ourselves from choke holds and grabs from the front and from behind.  We learned how to punch and kick and reviewed pressure points.  We learned the importance of keeping centered and balanced and the importance of how to fall.  We were taught moves in which we could throw someone twice our weight off balance while keeping our own, and how size and strength often do not matter in terms of ability to do so.  We sent a rubber knife flying across the room and away from our throats in a mock attack, and threw an instructor to the floor with a series of strategic movements.  We came to understand the value of our mental state in the midst of a physical conflict and were introduced to the idea that we should not allow the shock of injury to deter us from an objective of survival.  

What I learned above all else was that I have much more to learn.  Of course I didn’t expect to become an expert with just one lesson, but I realized that many of us (myself included) don’t even think in terms of real physical conflict or actual self-defense motions under real circumstances.  Sure, most of us are aware of our surroundings and use common sense when walking through parking lots at night, but have we actually thought through what we would do in a real physical conflict?  Do we have ANY IDEA what to do?  Are we prepared to successfully overcome a real challenge in that department?  Or on some level, do we just think that nothing like that would ever happen to us?  Is it cynical to think in terms of being attacked or is it smart to prepare?  How often do we travel down that road mentally?  And how can we expect to respond intelligently if we don’t prepare ourselves mentally, physically or spiritually to be able to defend ourselves?  How much would we benefit from the confidence of knowing that we have even just a little skill at personal defense?

Many of us (thankfully) won’t ever be in a life threatening conflict with another, but learning the skills taught in martial arts can certainly be life altering and life saving.  Even the process of learning these skill sets itself is invaluable.  The benefits to developing ourselves in mind, body and spirit through the process of learning martial arts skills are awe inspiring.  I’ve barely scratched the surface of what there is to learn here and have such a tremendous respect for those who practice these arts. 

Thank you to Greg, Melissa, Johnson’s Black Belt Academy and all those who possess a dedication to learning and teaching, and growing and striving for personal best through the medium of martial arts.  You all are amazing!  I look forward to expanding my own knowledge and potential with your inspiration!

And with that… I was off to my beach gig on the Jersey shore…

Good times, great people, and an amazing view!

Me and Joe Gray

What a GREAT WEEK!  I sure did come a long way from Wednesday's funk!

So I guess I'll have to remember...

Step one: 

Find your balance (sense of peace and serenity – as I did on horseback).

Step two: 

Find some inspiration and a vehicle for self empowerment (as was found in Karate class) for confidence.

Step three: 

Go out into the world with said balance and sense of confidence and let your spirit fly!

Have a great week!

Namaste

T


P.S.
Special thanks to Greg Flagella and Melissa Bailey for the great Karate instruction - and to Caitlin Evanock (Katie) for great pics and great company too! xoxo

Love That Lemonade...

The idea of making lemonade from lemons has surfaced from numerous sources this week.

There was of course the bitterly severe weather and the challenges it posed.  But then there was also the spirit of community and brotherly love it fostered when teams of people pulled together to shovel driveways and push cars and when families cooked at home and spent time with each other indoors. 

Angela and me shoveling after the blizzard...

My homemade seafood gumbo...

There are often lemons in the challenges we face together and individually in our life circumstance that can make us feel less than fortunate.  What ALWAYS follows that particular circumstance will be whatever WE MAKE of that situation.  I was clearly reminded of that truth watching Jennifer Hudson win The People’s Choice Award for Favorite Humanitarian. 

click here for Jennifer Hudson article - "Jennifer Hudson Breaks Down In Tears Accepting Humanitarian Award For Charity Established After Family Tragedy"

As we all search to find our way and try to make sense out of so many different challenging circumstances, I’m reminded…

Perspective is everything.  We can move from “Damn it!  I only ever win a dollar on these lottery tickets!” to “Hey!  I won something!” with a little bit of gratitude.  Even in severe circumstances, we can create something beautiful from what might initially seem hopeless. 

Isn’t it amazing how we can take ANY given circumstance and choose to make something wonderful from it?  Our RESPONSE is what holds the key.  We can respond to anything with love, kindness and understanding.  We can certainly choose gratitude as a state of mind –and from THAT can grow the most precious and powerful inspirations. 

Artwork that hangs in Angela's room...

I’ll drink to that!  LOVE that lemonade! 

From the photo shoot I just had in my kitchen with four lemons, water, ice and a tall glass...

Inspirational selection from Ella Wheeler Wilcox:

“Not long ago there was a great trotting-race at Brighton Beach.  The blind conqueror “Rhythmic” won five consecutive races.

Think of it!  He did not, like a mortal man, shrink back and say “I am blind –that is a terrible destiny –I am cursed by God –I will not try to win the race.”  He just trusted the hand of the Master at the reins, did his best, and won the honors of the season.

We are all blind racers at the track of earth.  The king, the millionaire, the statesman, the lawmaker, the beggar, the laborer, the cripple, we are all in the dark.  The only thing is to trust the hand of the Master, and do our best.

Believe your position is the right starting point for you, merely the starting point.

It is the shapeless block of stone from which you are to fashion the perfect statue.

Or it is the mere mud from which you are to mold the clay image, and later that is to be put into enduring marble.

What is uglier or more unattractive than mud?

Yet think of the glorious conceptions which it imprisons.

Take the mud of your present environment and thank God for it, and make the image of the future you desire.

You can do it –you must do it –you will do it.”

 –Ella Wheeler Wilcox, “The Heart of New Thought” (1903)

Little Shows: Big Impressions

People like to ask about gigs, especially ones with famous people or high-profile gigs.  “What was that like?” often gets asked of shows involving the President or television.  The answer is usually along the lines of how while that particular gig was a lot of fun and it was an honor to be a part of it, it was also very work intensive and usually in those types of situations one isn’t really afforded the opportunity to be “star-struck.”  You might have fifty songs to learn and you are very much focused on playing or singing your parts correctly and not so much on the fact that Stevie Wonder is standing in front you.  I mean, if Stevie Wonder is standing in front of you – you’d better be singing his song correctly right?  You might feel the same way if your boss’s boss’s boss, or the president of your company, was going to be evaluating you at work to see if you were working effectively, and your performance might mean a very big promotion for you.  It wouldn’t be anything at all like running into J-Lo or Prince at the supermarket.  (Did I just use J-Lo and Prince in the same sentence?)

That being said, there may be some moments when you can step back and appreciate the significance of the job at hand.  Maybe it’s a pause at rehearsal on stage underneath the Presidential emblem – or when you first set foot on the lighted American Idol set.  You may look around for a moment, taking it all in, and think “wow.”  Then it’s back to work, “pencils ready” or “eyes on your own paper” or something like that.

More often though, those special and most meaningful moments take place when people don’t often expect.  “Regular” or smaller shows could have just as much, if not more, of an impact.  Anything could happen at any point in time.  Suddenly, I am reminded of that song, “What If God Were One of Us.”  (Which Cheryl Pepsii Riley sings the CRAP out of BTW – but I digress.)  In it, the singer asks the question and probes the idea that God himself might be a stranger sitting next to us on the bus.  What if the single most significant thing we do in our whole life is to comfort a crying child who might be lost, or help an elderly woman across the street?  Or actually dial the number and become a sponsor when that “Feed the Children” infomercial comes on?

Last week, Russell and I played at a holiday party and I was blown away by a story I heard there.  It was for TSO (Transplant Support Organization) and it was just Russell and me with an amp and a keyboard (plus a guest guitarist and accordionist for a few songs).  The crowd consisted of about 90 people who had in some way been affected by organ donation.  Some were organ recipients and their family members.  Some were living donors.  Some were health care professionals and some had lost a loved one who had become an organ donor.  All were celebrating life and were joined by the common purpose of promoting donation awareness.  There were even a few politicians in attendance.  The organization’s president conveyed a story about one family’s experience.

In the story, two parents had been regularly bringing their daughter (we’ll call her Katie) to the hospital for kidney dialysis.  Often times, they would drop her off then go to the diner across the street for some lunch during their wait.  Eventually, they came to know the waitress and staff there at that little diner.  One day their waitress asked why it was that they came in so regularly.  After explaining that their daughter was at the hospital for dialysis and that only death or a kidney transplant would make her need for that treatment change – the waitress immediately said that she would be happy to give their daughter one of her kidneys!!!  After being tested and discovering that she was in fact a match, that is EXACTLY what she did!  Katie now sat at a table before us at the holiday party, nodding at the truth of how she received her new kidney.  It was unbelievable.  The speaker went on to say that the waitress had been here in the U.S. because her husband had to travel here for work.  She had never really wanted to leave her home in South America and had sometimes wondered what she was doing here at all.  After donating one of her kidneys to Katie, she felt her sense of purpose become clear.  She was here in the U.S. just so that she would meet them and help save Katie’s life.  She moved back to South America shortly thereafter, satisfied that she had accomplished her previously unknown task.

Take a deep breath in… exhale, OK.  HOW AMAZING IS THAT!?  Furthermore, if that waitress can donate one of her kidneys to a complete stranger without hesitation, why do we find it too much of a burden to donate our extra change to the guy ringing the bell outside the supermarket?  Why do we never seem to be able to find the time to spend a couple of hours volunteering for a cause that we think is important or spend quality time with a child we might know who could use some practice catching a baseball or some help with their homework?  Why do we hardly ever donate that dollar to the Make-a-Wish table at the mall or put that extra five bucks in with our heating bill to help someone cold?  Why do we just write a check for ten bucks two times a year when we attend church at Christmas and Easter?  (You know you do that…)

At the VERY least… why don’t we sign the back of our driver’s license and tell our family that in the event we or they (on our behalf) have the opportunity to save someone’s life through organ donation (after we are already gone), that we would like to do so???  Isn’t that the very LEAST we could do (I mean, we’re dead right?) and yet isn’t it also the very MOST we could do for someone else?

I have an idea… Let’s all find a New Year’s resolution this year that makes sense.  Maybe we can all try to be at least a little bit like our favorite South American waitress.  How about if we find SOMETHING to do for someone else – and actually DO IT, even if it’s as simple as signing our driver's license?

P.S.

That little show was a good one.  J

More info:

http://www.transplantsupport.org/faqs.html

cake photo by Danielle Graham

UPDATE 12-12-11:

I have just learned that signing the back of your driver's license is no longer the most up-to-date or efficient way to indicate your desire to be an organ donor.  The Transplant Support Organization is encouraging people to enroll in their state's "Donate Life Registry."  Click here: http://donatelife.net/ to find simple, easy ways to register in your state.