Gimme A Break

I don't need encouragement, validation, pats on the back or anything like that. I just want to tell the truth. I was weary. I'd had enough, was completely worn out and felt like my composure was slipping. There were simply too many things to do and not enough time or nearly enough sleep. I ran into a friend to whom I immediately began spewing out my exasperation. She said I needed a break. I disagreed. "What I NEED, is to get my work done." I was seriously stressed.

I headed home and started racing around like a maniac trying to get a thousand things done in the time it would normally take to do only ten things. After a while I noticed the clock (5:39pm). Evening service would start at 6pm and I had just enough time to get there. ("But all the unfinished work," my brain chided me.) I flipped a coin. (Heads, so off to church I went.)

I arrived just before 6pm and noticed that a whole series of texts mysteriously vanished from my phone as if to say, "forget all about this." (Alright.) During the meditation I thought I might fall apart. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I just sat there quietly and tried to "get in tune with my heart" as the minister instructed. My heart had HAD it. I was running on empty and my heart felt it.

Amazingly and almost instantly I realized an answer. (I didn't even know I had a question!) I was not at the mercy of circumstance. It didn't matter how little time I had or what curve balls came at me. I was not powerless. I would get through. I just knew it. I was certain.

It sounds simple enough, but that little quiet break was exactly what I needed. It really only took a few minutes. I stayed for the whole service anyway, but after five minutes or so of meditation I was good.

So I guess my friend was right. I'm glad I ran into her. I'm grateful for her instruction and for the logistical ability to take that break. It truly did wonders.

Namaste,
T

When in Doubt... Go Up

Did you ever get a song stuck in your head and wonder why?  Maybe it’s just one of those darn catchy ones that you hear over and over like a commercial and can't shake.  Maybe there’s another reason…

It’s been a hectic week filled with upheaval and uncertainty.  As we were on a long drive home, Russ played a song I thought might be uplifting, but turned out instead to be rather sad.  I immediately asked him to play another song that I thought might have more of an inspiring effect.  It did – and then I couldn’t stop singing it for two days:

You fill up my senses

Like a night in the forest

Like the mountains in springtime

Like a walk in the rain

Like a storm in the desert

Like a sleepy blue ocean

You fill up my senses – Come fill me again

Come let me love you

Let me give my life to you

Let me drown in your laughter

Let me die in your arms

Let me lay down beside you

Let me always be with you

Come let me love you – Come love me again

(Annie's Song, John Denver)

John Denver's "Annie's Song" on YouTube - click here

As I searched for a blog idea, I was hoping to find inspiration in services at church.  There, during the lecture, I was reminded that most often we can find the answers we seek in silence and in peace; and I was also reminded how oftentimes, we are too busy and loud to just sit and listen to our inner voice.  In times of turmoil, stress or change we might simply quiet ourselves, meditate, breathe and just be still.  That’s when the answers come.

Okay.  I can do that…

I joined the group meditation in the service.  I closed my eyes and felt only my breath.  They were playing a relaxing instrumental song with a flute in the background.  It was as if some distant flute player was calling me toward something – like some happy idea-thought was waiting for me just beyond a hill I had to first climb over.  As I relaxed into my breath, I felt like I was floating upward toward this happy idea-thought, being drawn to it like some kind of balloon.  (Hey! This might work!)

Then it occurred to me… I’ve already done this!  I had been singing a song I found beautiful and comforting.  I had been repeating it like a mantra.  I kept returning to the words that I found joyous and uplifting.  Without even realizing, I had been giving myself a message.  My inner voice had been singing to me.  :)

Many of us know that we want to move away from stress and toward happiness, but often we’re not sure HOW. 

How’s this?  Take a few moments of quiet and listen.  What are we already saying to ourselves?  In times of doubt and uncertainty, I am going to try and remember to continue moving toward the joy – to find some happy thought or feeling and cling to it consciously.  I’ll seek something uplifting.

When in doubt, I’ll go up.

Maybe I'll sing...