Monday, March 31, 2014

In Fear of A Dead Bird


Whew!  It has been a week filled with turmoil, questions and challenges.  So here’s how the week capped itself off…

After an extremely tiring drive back home, which took an incredible amount of time due to the bad weather and snow (yes, I said it…SNOW), I arrived to find the place in some disarray.  Curtains were knocked down and things that had been on windowsills and counter tops were on the floor and scattered about.  I considered for a moment if there might have been an earthquake.  As my mind scanned the possibilities, I saw the bird poop on the ledge of the window frame and instantly realized that, in my absence, a bird had gotten into the house and found itself trapped there.

(Alright.  That answers that.  On to the next issue… Where is the bird now?)

There was a sense of urgency.  It was almost 6am and I had been driving all night.  I had very little opportunity for sleep and I had to bring the dogs inside.  I had to find that bird before Bentley did.  I looked in all of the obvious places and found nothing.  I walked the dogs, brought them in and watched them carefully.  They did not lead me to the dead bird, but instead sniffed around a little, drank some water and laid down for a nap (some help THEY are).



I still had to find the bird.  I wanted to leave in the morning and the dogs would be in the house alone.  I couldn’t have Bentley finding a dead bird while I was gone.  (If you knew him, you’d understand that he has an unhealthy obsession with birds.)  I searched everywhere and was battling complete exhaustion.



Finally, I gave up.  It didn't seem to be anywhere that was accessible to the dogs.  I had to sleep.  As I got ready for bed and opened cabinets and reached for towels, I hesitated at every turn, fully aware of the possibility that the bird could be anywhere.  Finally, I slowly peeled back the bed covers hoping the bird wasn’t on my pillow and thankfully, upon finding that it was not, climbed in and slept. 

Miraculously, I woke up in time for church and got up and went.  There, I listened to a lecture/sermon about how we can make decisions from a place of love or from a place of fear.  The speaker talked about how with every choice we make and with every word we speak we can ask ourselves if we are building a wall or a bridge.  With compassion and love energy, we build bridges.  When we come from a place of fear, we tend to build walls.  We might, in a fear state, have an energy that closes us off and we might only see what we perceive as wrong or negative instead of what is positive and wonderful.  He spoke of how sometimes religion can do this as people try to impose their views on each other instead of realizing, through understanding, how much we are all alike.  How true this is when we reflect on all the war and death, pain and suffering brought about under the guise of  “religion” or trying to be understood instead of trying to understand.

In the end he encouraged us all to try to build bridges with every move we make, because if we build walls, we will eventually become walled in.


I went home and cleaned up the house.  I sanitized the windows and countertops and washed the curtains that had been knocked down.  I bought fresh fruit and veggies, placed them in a bowl on the counter and decided that I do not want to live in fear of a dead bird.  I still haven’t found it.  I know it might happen that I open a drawer or reach for something and, to my utter shock, find that dead bird, but you know what?  Who cares?  I mean, so what?  What’s the worst that can happen?  I might scream.  I might get hurt somewhat.  OK.

Yes, it is quite likely that I am living with a dead bird.  Fine.  I am no longer going to walk around being afraid of finding it where or when I least expect it.  I’m not going to move slowly and hesitate with every move I make.  I have decided that I will no longer live in fear of a dead bird.

This week, as I fling open cabinet doors with confidence, let me be the same way with life itself.  Let me move fear out of the way, stand in truth and speak with love.  BRING IT ON!  I ain’t afraid of no dead bird!  ;)



Have a beautiful week!

Namaste!
T



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