Whew! It has been a
week filled with turmoil, questions and challenges. So here’s how the week capped itself off…
After an extremely tiring drive back home, which took an
incredible amount of time due to the bad weather and snow (yes, I said
it…SNOW), I arrived to find the place in some disarray. Curtains were knocked down and things that
had been on windowsills and counter tops were on the floor and scattered about. I considered for a moment if there might have
been an earthquake. As my mind scanned
the possibilities, I saw the bird poop on the ledge of the window frame and
instantly realized that, in my absence, a bird had gotten into the house and found
itself trapped there.
(Alright. That
answers that. On to the next issue…
Where is the bird now?)
There was a sense of urgency. It was almost 6am and I had been driving all
night. I had very little opportunity for
sleep and I had to bring the dogs inside. I
had to find that bird before Bentley did.
I looked in all of the obvious places and found nothing. I walked the dogs, brought them in and
watched them carefully. They did not
lead me to the dead bird, but instead sniffed around a little, drank some water
and laid down for a nap (some help THEY are).
I still had to find the bird. I wanted to leave in the morning and the dogs
would be in the house alone. I couldn’t
have Bentley finding a dead bird while I was gone. (If you knew him, you’d understand that he
has an unhealthy obsession with birds.)
I searched everywhere and was battling complete exhaustion.
Finally, I gave up. It didn't seem to be anywhere that was accessible to the dogs. I had to sleep. As I got ready for bed and opened cabinets
and reached for towels, I hesitated at every turn, fully aware of the
possibility that the bird could be anywhere.
Finally, I slowly peeled back the bed covers hoping the bird wasn’t on
my pillow and thankfully, upon finding that it was not, climbed in and
slept.
Miraculously, I woke up in time for church and got up and
went. There, I listened to a
lecture/sermon about how we can make decisions from a place of love or from a
place of fear. The speaker talked about how with
every choice we make and with every word we speak we can ask ourselves if we
are building a wall or a bridge. With
compassion and love energy, we build bridges.
When we come from a place of fear, we tend to build walls. We might, in a fear state, have an energy
that closes us off and we might only see what we perceive as wrong or negative instead of
what is positive and wonderful. He spoke
of how sometimes religion can do this as people try to impose their views on
each other instead of realizing, through understanding, how much we are all
alike. How true this is when we reflect
on all the war and death, pain and suffering brought about under the guise
of “religion” or trying to be understood
instead of trying to understand.
In the end he encouraged us all to try to build bridges with
every move we make, because if we build walls, we will eventually become walled
in.
I went home and cleaned up the house. I sanitized the windows and countertops and washed the curtains that had been knocked down.
I bought fresh fruit and veggies, placed them in a bowl on the counter and
decided that I do not want to live in fear of a dead bird. I still haven’t found it. I know it might happen that I open a drawer
or reach for something and, to my utter shock, find that dead bird, but you
know what? Who cares? I mean, so what? What’s the worst that can happen? I might scream. I might get hurt somewhat. OK.
Yes, it is quite likely that I am living with a dead
bird. Fine. I am no longer going to walk around being
afraid of finding it where or when I least expect it. I’m not going to move slowly and hesitate
with every move I make. I have decided
that I will no longer live in fear of a dead bird.
This week, as I fling open cabinet doors with confidence, let
me be the same way with life itself. Let
me move fear out of the way, stand in truth and speak with love. BRING IT ON!
I ain’t afraid of no dead bird!
;)
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Namaste!
T
