I was in a grand funk. Russ was busy and school's out for summer. I have a mountain of tasks and I'm not going to lie - IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. I may have a panic attack just thinking about it.
Full-on anxiety took hold for a couple of days and THEN, as if I wasn't busy enough, the phone rang. It was a gig. There was a last minute emergency and could I be 107 miles away by 6pm, fully glammed up - singing for someone's wedding?
No. No I could not. I was on my way to the yard waste facility, with bags of mud, weeds, dirt, and potato bugs in the back of the car, along with Zachary. We were both a mess and attempting to clean up the driveway before we got some type of citation for junking up the neighborhood. Our bags of debris had been sitting so long in the rain that they broke, and we'd been shoveling their dusty remains in the sweltering heat. I also had no babysitter.
I hung up the phone, defeated. "I can't" are not words in my vocabulary, but there was just no way. There is a show next month with the same entertainment group, so I called the sitter to confirm that date. I thought maybe that would give me some kind of hope for the future.
Not only did the Angel who is my babysitter confirm next month's show date, but she was available that day as well and could come over anytime! WHAT??!! There was help??? I quickly called back for the job I had just turned down, "A sitter just fell from the sky. Do you still need someone?" Yes. Yes they did.
I can't even completely remember the whirlwind that followed, but I think I have never cleaned up so fast in my life. I was like a tornado, but I was straightening and organizing, putting away toys and papers, packing alcohol wipes, snacks, gloves, shoes, throat spray, electronics and a mic stand, all while cleaning up, curling my hair, letting the dog out, watching Zachary and doing my makeup.
I reviewed songs in the car on the way. The next thing you know, I was parking on a hill next to a cow and running toward an outdoor pavilion from which I could hear the sound of an amplified guitar. The bandleader met me by the driveway and told me not to rush and that all was well.
Life is better while the music is playing and I am doing what I do. There were fine and talented musicians, happy smiling people, and beautiful countryside views.
I am here to tell you that the impossible can be done! Thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU!!! Huge thanks to all the people who have stepped in to help when I've felt overwhelmed. Thinking back... there have been so many Earth Angels who carried me just when I thought I couldn't make it. When we can't do it on our own, we still CAN with a little help. My grand funk turned into some kind of wonderful.
It's a miracle to lose hope and find it again. May we see light just when we need it and be light when someone else needs - especially now in these days of extreme hardship for so many.
With Love and gratitude,
T
